“CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A DRUNK WASP ?”

A drunken wasp, surely, says Russ. Who knows.

Before I start, the exciting news that my preview copy* of the new GBG (due for publication in October) arrived today via Ocado;

Unless you’re one of my Patronised readers I’m afraid it’s embargoed, but I may dripfeed a few highlights. All I’ll say now is, they’ll be dancing in the streets of Kirkapol tonight.

Back to Dorset. My next tick, another top plant tip and this time a proper one, came at the pub where I was a bit of a prat.

Perhaps if I don’t name it we’ll be able to move on; it certainly wasn’t their fault.

Anyway, mystery pub certainly had the social distancing barriers out. Or perhaps it’s art.

Whatever, I wasn’t allowed in “just for a drink“. But the outside tables looked more lively anyway. Some people even looked like they were enjoying themselves.

The nice waitress/barmaid came across and asked me what I wanted. How would I know?

She reeled off a list of homebrew and I just said “The first one please“. I really did.

A half appeared and she scuttled off to attend to gentlefolk before I could pay her in coppers.

It wasn’t much cop, typical Devon 2.5 stuff, and the dahlias got the windfall.

A family complained about chips, a drunk Gary Glitter lookalike (top) said “Can I interest you in a drunk wasp?”

Serves you right for drinking Bud, I thought, but I knew GG would be the highlight of my ten minute visit.

Well, ten minutes and five more trying to pay. I walked to the bar, brandishing two pound coins.

You can’t come to the bar Sir” said a distressed landlord. “it’s only table service.

“I just wanted to pay” I said, but we all know I wanted a picture of gentlefolk arguing over the bill, don’t we?

As I said yesterday, I was being a prat. Best just fess up.

Only sent to select members I believe.

17 thoughts on ““CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A DRUNK WASP ?”

  1. I once fished a drowning wasp from my beer, and put it on the sunny table to dry out. It eventually recovered the use of its wings, and made ready to fly. We watched with interest as it took off, and flew, straight as a dart, into the distance.

    It would appear that they have to be sober, to do all the dancing and weaving in the air a few inches from your nose.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “Serves you right for drinking Bud, I thought, but I knew GG would be the highlight of my ten minute visit.” –Loved this line! We all know that when you or Simon see an oddball in one of these pubs you rub your hands together gleefully, as they’ve given you something good to write about. I like to think you say “Thanks so much” to them just before you exit the pub, leaving them wondering what it is you’re thanking them for. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  3. “A drunken wasp, surely, says Russ. Who knows.”

    Pfft. He could have swallowed it whilst drinking his beer?

    “All Iโ€™ll say now is, theyโ€™ll be dancing in the streets of Kirkapol tonight.”

    Don’t they do that every night there?

    “Or perhaps itโ€™s art.”

    Or a crime scene? ๐Ÿ™‚

    “I really did.”

    I don’t blame you. (sheesh)

    “Serves you right for drinking Bud, I thought”

    Tsk, tsk. No need to get ‘waspish’. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    โ€œitโ€™s only table service.”

    Shoulda carried a table with you then. ๐Ÿ™‚

    “As I said yesterday, I was being a prat. ”

    See above. I don’t blame you. (sheesh)

    “Only sent to select members I believe.”

    You forgot the ‘*’ at the beginning. That shows how annoyed you were. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Cheers

    PS – I don’t blame you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for enlightening me. I assume it counts as the remotest tick in the GBG, although I see thereโ€™s an airport (grass-strip), nearby.

        Like

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