I returned home from Cornwall to the loving embrace of my family 4 days of washing, cleaning and laundry.
Sunday off, then back to the hard yards of saving pubs and creating a huge tax burden for my children.
Scarily, a dozen times for me, including the numerous coffees in Spoons.
Yes, it’s half price grub time, and another chance to take Dad away from the Women’s underwater golf or whatever Sky puts on his TV these days.
Let’s go to the Boot in Histon; folk rave about that.
Yes, “Pub Brasserie“. I’m going posh. But while with beer you get better value from going cheap, with the half-price food offer it pays to go upmarket. Even my 19 year old knows that 13 days of 50p burgers from McDonalds is a false economy.
The Boot was doing well; only space outside.
Don’t worry, we weren’t missing a bench-seated classic interior.
The bloke in charge of seating us, who if I was French I would call the maître d’, was lovely with my Dad, making an assessment that the rain would hold till 12:50, which gave us 49 minutes to choose, order and consume.
“We’re quick eaters” I said, marking us out as the Fenland peasants we are.
Dad is a good judge of clouds, too, but they became increasingly ominous as we looked at the menu that served as a placemat, Hamburg style.
Pan fried Bass (not that Bass) and Steak Frites, easy choice.
“And to drink ?”
“What real ales do you have, please ?” Ugh, I’m going all Beer Twitter.
“Sorry ?“
“What’s on handpump ? Um, what beers do you have ?“
“Oh. We have lagers and bitters*. The bitters are Tribute, Doo..”
“Doom Bar will do“. Could have had Landlord if I wasn’t so impatient.
It was great food. The steak was only 0.5 below the steak and chips on every street corner in Buenos Aires, though I’ll not pretend that Doom Bar is a substitute for a half bottle of Malbec; even a dry, foamy NBSS 3+ one.
The “bants” was terrifying, and almost entirely about Gîtes and house prices and furlough. We could have been in Richmond.
On the table next to us, a smart-shirted man chose the steak and ale pie.
“It comes with a complimentary third of Tribute, Sir”
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly drink a third of beer” he really said.
Dad decided he’d wait for a more substantial pudding at Oakington Garden Centre’s cafe, which was also doing a Rishi.
He’s living a little in his 86th year.
Do you think he meant I couldn’t possibly drink a third, I only drink pints?
You should be an ambassador for Doom Bar…are they aware of your services thus far?
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He thought he’d be drunk on a third, honest. Mind, I’d have been sacked for drinking a third at work after about 2000 so fair enough.
I’m (genuinely) warming to it as you find a pint that’s been left to mature before serving, which isn’t the norm. Bit like Bass, though you’re in an area where good Bass is the norm !
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I’m liking the fact you are a Doom advocate 👍 I feel similar about GK IPA as it’s often in very good nick in unlikeliest of places
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You must do a blog summarising those places. I’m always unlucky 😉
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I very much doubt that a third of beer would register on any form of breath analyser.
What kind of draconian regime were they running at your former workplace?
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Any alcohol, instant dismissal. Applied to all public sector I worked for.
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Why do you think I was so keen to leave 😉
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That’s one of the more unwelcome US imports into employment contracts these days.
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We’ve managed the 50% once a week so far, tomorrow the final cash-grab in Notts all being well (we haven’t booked…). I ‘totally’ disagree with the scheme, but we’re really fed up of always doing the right thing so, “Oy! Give me some of my tax back“ it is then.
Interestingly, we’ve taken the opportunity to trade-up and save more rather than focus on eating cheap, but naturally we’ll be trading right back down again from Thursday.
An open letter to Rishi: “Please, please, please do ‘not’ extend this offer in any way. We are weak, and will therefore have to do the wrong thing again…”
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The 50% scheme is fascinating. It’s not for pubgoers like me, it’s for the retirees (oh) who haven’t been out since March but used to have fish and chips in the Cutter by the Cam or the mums who’ve been nervous about taking the children out to Pizza Hut. It’s restored normality, and made it look normal for folk to eat out again. Frankly, the wet trade seems to be more resilient anyway, our local is back at 90% of pre-Lockdown trade and it’s not a summer pub.
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If I were to become a citizen of the UK, how would I go about getting that discount?
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You have to stand on one leg while ordering and shout “Death to keg”. Simple enough.
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Just recite the words “Bollocks to Brexit” outside of parliament, and you will qualify!
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I like the service charge note on the bill. Not all establishments are as open and honest with how tips are distributed.
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“It comes from a complimentary third of Tribute, Sir”
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly drink a third of beer” he really said.”
Would’ve said exactly the same – suspect for a different reason.
Simple rule of thumb: thirds only permissible when beer approaching wine strength e.g. Barley Wine – and that, of course, will still mentally be measured in Nips by correct drinking folks. Below that, a third is merely a taster – and trust we can all agree tasters are the work of Beelzebub, Lord of the Bar Flies.
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Well, exceptional logic there, Hugh.
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“I returned home from Cornwall to the (loving embrace of my family 4) days of washing, cleaning and laundry.”
That takes me back. 🙂
“and another chance to take Dad away from the Women’s underwater golf ”
Sigh. I read that as Women’s ‘underwear’ golf. 😉
“But while with beer you get better value from going cheap, with the half-price food offer it pays to go upmarket.”
Good point.
“who if I was French I would call the maître d’,”
Now that IS posh!
“marking us out as the Fenland peasants we are.”
I’m sure your clothing helped.
“Could have had Landlord if I wasn’t so impatient.”
Tsk, tsk. But then, you were ‘on the clock’ as it were.
Oh, and I see what you mean about the menu/placemat thingy.
“£18.45 added to to national debt”
Blimey. How long does that go on?
“It comes from a complimentary third of Tribute, Sir”
Shouldn’t that ‘with’ and not ‘from’?
“He’s living a little in his 86th year.”
That’s my plan if I get to be that age.
“*But Bitter means John Smiths Smooth !”
(faints)
Cheers
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