LEAVING THE BIG ISSUE IN THE WELLINGTON

Still in Ilfracombe.

Useful map this

The Quay was TOO busy; the Old Town deserted.

Deserted

Cheered, I bought Big Issue for £3, Jarvis Cocker making his 317th appearance on the cover of that highly readable paper.

For the first time, closed shops and pubs outnumbered the open ones. A shame, as Fore Street is marvellous, and I’m sure I saw Bass.

But I had in mind a pint of Doom Bar, which tastes the same as flat Bass anyway.

Is the Wellington the first Craft Union to make the GBG, following that monstrosity in Glenrothes as the first Brewer’s Fayre ?

Distinctive markings

I entered to face the table with hand wash (not the gourmet sort), and turned right where the cheerier faces sat.

Blokes are back

Wait ! ” said the nice barmaid. “Have you read the Wellington rules ?

My dear readers will know I have a difficult relationship with rules, as folk in Harare. Corfu Town and the Blue Lagoon will know.

Er, I know about the one way system ?” I said, using the Australian question format to imply my ignorance.

Name and number taken, I surveyed the range. MUCH too large, in keeping with the GBG entry.

One is plenty etc

Yes, of COURSE I went for the Doom Bar. Do you think I drink beer with apostrophes in the title just so I can get corrected by Russ, or Fullers just so I can write “The Pride is drinking well, lads“.

The Doom is, I guess, the only that Brian and his mates drink, and enough of it at £2.15 to make it an NBSS 3.5 treat. “ANOTHER 3.5. When do I get to see the plant pots ?

Mmmm

Proper beer, proper bench seating, proper blokes (and a few ladies) and proper Britpop from 1982.

At the bar, Brian was complaining about the telly. Our barmaid, a polite and friendly gem, was pressing the remote furiously to the accompaniment of Abba’s “The Day Before You Came“, then scolded.

BRIAN ! You’re standing in front of the TV; that’s why I can’t work the remote“. Brian slinked back to his Stella.

Scolded

I needed the loo, and began a long journey following the arrows past the pool room to the outside smoking area.

Pubs are back

I left the Gents by the one way system and emerged, blinking, into the sunlight behind the Wellington.

Just like at the Regal in 1986, I’d been evicted, and this time could never find my way back. Honest.

Jarvis Cocker is probably still staring out of the cover of my abandoned Big Issue into the public bar at the Wellington, just like in the lyrics of “Common People”.

16 thoughts on “LEAVING THE BIG ISSUE IN THE WELLINGTON

  1. Very enticing photo of ‘Burton-on-Atlantic Grockle Slop’ there. There are many pubs round our way that would do better with Doom on the bar than the ‘Locally brewed for Golfers and Rugby players’ malty-sweet glop I have to endure.

    As I was saying to the missus yesterday, isn’t it strange that post-lockdown, almost all of the previously closed (awaiting planning permission/gentrification) pubs near us are now actually open. Clearly not the case in the big Devon cities then! At last, an advantage to living off-grid amongst farmers and Tory grandees…

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  2. Following the early termination of your sponsorship deal with Piper’s (for “inappropriate conduct” according to their statement), I assume you have struck a new deal with Craft Union. Or maybe Molson Coors?

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  3. Have had a couple of holidays in Ilfracombe so have investigated it quite thoroughly- once built a weeks holiday around a concert by Fishermans Friends at the nuclear power station theatre -by the time we got there it had gone bust so no concert & Ilfracombe in winter is not pretty .I think the faded glory is interesting but i’m not sure we will re visit -enjoyed the Pier brewery tap & grill on quayside & accidentally went into Damien Hursts place (now closed ? ) & wondered why it was so expensive & as for “Verity ” …………….

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  4. “Useful map this”

    If you say so. 😉

    “Deserted”

    (sigh)

    “But I had in mind a pint of Doom Bar, which tastes the same as flat Bass anyway.”

    I take it that long walk up the hills had left you somewhat addled?

    “Blokes are back”

    A return to the new normal!

    “My dear readers will know I have a difficult relationship with rules”

    I hear ya. Went to the local Walmart yesterday and, even though they now have a policy of mandatory masks, I saw over a dozen not wearing any. Went back today (without a mask) and had one force on me by a greeter before I could continue into the store (but I wore in just below my nose). 🙂

    “Do you think I drink beer with apostrophes in the title just so I can get corrected by Russ”

    Hey, don’t pin this on me!

    “The Doom is, I guess, the only that Brian and his mates drink”

    I’m humming ‘Only the Lonely’ as that ‘only’ is definitely missing a word after it. 😉

    ““ANOTHER 3.5. When do I get to see the plant pots ?“”

    After a six pint day like Si?

    “Brian slinked back to his Stella.”

    His wife or his beer (or both)?

    “just like in the lyrics of “Common People”.”

    I’ve heard William Shatner sing that. 🙂

    Cheers

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