YOU COME AT THE KING(‘S LYNN),YOU’D BETTER NOT MISS (THESE TWO PUBS)

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It’s been a worrying day.

Being stuck in the house turns your brain to mush (mulch ?), and for a few minutes I thought this article in the Guardian (I know, I know) was warning about an asteroid passing within 4 miles of Earth.

Mile-wide asteroid set to pass within 3.9m miles of Earth

The virus so dominates the news that even the confirmation of  an alien invasion by the Pentagon yesterday and an asteroid nearly wiping out said aliens can’t make Twitter Trends Top 5.

4 miles is further than I’ve been from home in the last 6 weeks, but that still feels a close call. Duncan eventually told me what “m” stands for, which was frankly a bit disappointing.

The Lockdown has a lot to answer for, and not just the obvious. Apart from the lack of a Chinese takeaway and Test Match Special, I also have to put up with hourly “fun content” on WhatsApp from an anonymous friend from Dereham, Norfolk.

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King’s Lynn rough ?

They have cod cheeks !  Cheeks !

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The fish man

OK, OK, the pubs are rougher than Deptford before the Antic arrived.

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Thought it said Lord Kevin
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“Station” pub

But Lynn has the closest pub to her Majesty’s holiday home at Sandringham, and if it’s good enough for Phil it’ll do me.

Lynn
Walkway over the Wash to Boston needed

I was only here last July, but you’ll have forgotten that trip already I suspect.

It looked gorgeous, despite the lack of new GBG pubs, just as that nice Duncan had said. His photo was so good it’s worth stealing.

Credit : Pubmeister

The range of colours from the harbour to the market place are spectacular.

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Space for your yacht
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Duke’s Head
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Saturday Market Place
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Corn Exchange

Duncan had prepped me on the idiosyncratic Crown & Mitre, a pub for which the term “Old School” might have been invented and probably was.

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Open if the green light is on
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Probably the right way up

Run by a 78 year old along “traditional” lines, and never in the GBG in my lifetime, it nevertheless provided the best beer in Norfolk last year.  And Norwich is in Norfolk.

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Hurrah for funny Elgoods beers about Beaver

I warmed to Landlord Roger when an unsuspecting couple of gentlefolk came to the bar.

Oh. only 2 beers ?” said Mr Choosy.  Patient explanation re: matching beers to demand.

Can I have a taster then ?” said Mr Choosy.

Half or pint ?  We don’t do tasters.”   said Roger.

A pint’s a taster” I chipped in, unhelpfully.

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Your hero and mine

In complete contrast, craft had arrived, kicking and screaming, in the Nip & Growler.

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Actual craft, too

I’d been to a places like this and felt distinctly unwelcome.

Not here. Cheery bar lady, boisterous staff reading out Kathy Burke tweets, teachers coming in for several pints at the end of term.

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What views

It was the EXACT OPPOSITE of the Crown & Mitre, but both of them were great. And you need both in the Guide, or you’ll end up like Sidcup.

One word of caution. Contrary to what you might hear, the giant rabbits are not domesticated.

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14 thoughts on “YOU COME AT THE KING(‘S LYNN),YOU’D BETTER NOT MISS (THESE TWO PUBS)

  1. Like the Omar Little quote in the title of this piece. I’m rewatching series 4 at the moment, but my DVD ground to a halt at the start of episode 7 (just after Omar was arrested for murder – he was framed, obv) and I had to skip to episode 8. So if you could just let me know what happened? Please?

    I went to the Crown & Mitre on my first visit to Kings Lynn in 2001. [One of my first long cycle rides – I got the train to Peterborough and cycled from there – it nearly killed me. I’m pretty sure it’s less than 30 miles. Later on the same trip I cycled from Norwich to Peterborough in spring sunshine (May Day weekend) and got sunstroke – I’d forgotten that I was somewhat lacking in the hair department, and had nothing to wear on my head. I’ve worn a cap ever since but still have the freckles on my scalp.] I liked it.

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    1. I think Duncan cycled to Norwich via Lynn last year, been heading round the coast.

      I’ve no doubt the Crown & Mitre is, er, delightfully unchanged.

      In Ep. 7 Omar escapes prison disguised as a giant bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon and sets up a Mikkeller franchise with the Irish cop. I think, I gave my boxset away with the warning “there’s less swearing after Episode 1”.

      Follow this link.

      https://www-slantmagazine-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.slantmagazine.com/tv/the-wire-mondays-season-4-ep-7-unto-others/amp/?amp_js_v=a3&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQIKAGwASDAAQE%3D#aoh=15882007779387&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.slantmagazine.com%2Ftv%2Fthe-wire-mondays-season-4-ep-7-unto-others%2F

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  2. Loved your description of the Crown & Mitre, and your careful record of the “can I have a taster” conversation between Mr. Choosy and the landlord. Looks and sounds like my kind of place!

    Things have got so bad it seemed on Twitter the predominant reaction to the asteroid’s near miss was disappointment that it had missed its opportunity to put all of us out of our misery. Me, I can’t go along with that, as I need to stay alive long enough to see you and Simon get back to ticking. 🙂

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    1. Half the point of visiting pubs, as Simon will attest, is watching the interaction.

      People are so funny. It’s why I never drink at home, there’s no interaction.

      I just knew the landlord was going to resist the request.

      On the asteroid, I’m with you. There is much to be positive about. The next GBG could be much smaller and Si and I might yet get to finish it.
      (joking)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t think I’ve been to Kings Lynn since 1993 when Greene King’s London Porterhouse.was the most welcoming of pubs.

    If there’s now 4 Bass on offer in the town for £12 it must be worth another visit.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I have actually booked a few nights in King’s Lynn in the autumn, which as of now remains uncancelled. It’s somewhere I’ve never stayed, and there are plenty of interesting places to visit in the surrounding area.

    However, I have to say that if I’m only able to have one holiday this year, that probably wouldn’t be the one I’d choose.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You were right the first time Martin.

    I’m not sure if brains would be much use for this:

    https://www.rhs.org.uk/advice/profile?pid=323

    However, although your artistic licence may now have been formally revoked, it’s good to see that you appear to be pirating the brand regardless 👍

    (I think that all tickers are weirdies, but there’s often not that much wrong with being weird.)

    This is the first thing that I have read today, and it’s a good start – thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think the Crown & Mitre has been in the Guide as when I got home and checked my records, I had already been there. It must have been 80’s. A cracking town with a good range of pubs and proximity to numerous village pubs. Lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have never properly been to Kings Lynn. Whilst it is by no means on my priority list, I look forward to it. I reckon 33 minutes will allow a lovely little wander.

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