Not really, of course. It only kicks off in Keswick when two septuagenarians fight over the last scone or one of them suggests actually going for a walk in the new boots they’ve bought at 45% off in Mountain Warehouse.
Or someone wants to make a return visit to the Pencil Museum, the dullest sounding museum in the UK (apart from Shakespeare’s house).
I found Keswick unbearably twee in 2003, which rhymes and would have made a great blog title.
Pleasingly, it’s as twee as ever, and I though it most handsome, even if I had to move at half my normal speed to accommodate slowbies in Barbour.
For today’s five pints, name the pub;
BRAPA hadn’t warmed to The Wainwright a month ago and the signage doesn’t inspire confidence, does it ?
Simon turned up when it was frenetic; I showed up when it was empty. Is it me ?(probably).
I’ll say this. Those folks what like to see a bar full of unfamiliar homebrew will love this one.
I chose the one with the most words on the pump clip.
“IF there was ever a pub you’d just want to spend your minimum amount of time in, Wainwright, Keswick (1592 / 2809) was it”wrote BRAPA, with reason.
Even the pot plant wasn’t suitable for tipping.
Luckily the urinals were superb.
Simon hadn’t exactly inspired me with his thoughts on The Pheasant a mile north of the centre, but my spirits lifted as I wandered lonely as a cloud alongside the probably poisonous white berries.
Any confidence I had in the Pheasant disappeared by 12:01.
At least I was spared the 15 minute disco remix of “Rocket Man” that traumatised young BRAPA, but I’m not sure the soundtrack was getting past Christmas 1977.
“Would you like to set up a tab ?” asked the nice lady as she handed me a half of Night Vision. I have “tabs” in the same bracket as jam jars, tasters and taxis.
More to the point, what HAVE Jennings done to their pump clips ?
A party of 21 was about to come in, probably waiting for me to leave so I wouldn’t poke fun at their inability to deal with being in a pub, so it was just me. Alone again, naturally like in the song.
Excellent beer (NBSS 3.5+).
But however good the beer, there’s something dispiriting about sitting alone in a dining pub listening to Slade and Elton John. Where have all the lunchtime drinkers gone ?
Don’t answer that.