Tuesday night in Eccles, sadly arriving back from Gullivers too late for the Lamb.

As before, I can recommend the Milton Hotel (£32) which towers above the Eccles Job Centre. Clean, decent WiFi, exciting craft selection, breakfast in the Spoons with the 9am Smooth drinkers.

Great views of the ski slope at Trafford Centre

Mrs RM had stayed down in London “doing IT” so I decided to make a week of it.

On a whim I thought I’d finish Glasgow GBG.

3hr 42 min, or 3 hrs for me

Ooh look, it’s Tebay Services pies.

Proper Pies ?

Tebay is regarded as the Crown Jewel of motorway services, which is a bit like being regarded as the best pub in Maidenhead.

In front of me, a guy was buying (I kid you not) 20 bottles of beer in the Farm Shop. Who are these pubkillers who drink at home ?

I changed my mind about my pie choice 3 times while waiting for him before settling on game, which is presumably a mix of hedgehog and tourist. Washed down with an excellent filter coffee, it was the highpoint of the day.


Oh, the view from the café to the lakes wasn’t bad either.

“not bad” Tebay

Two hours later, saving Ecclefechan for the return, I parked up at the redoubtable Kings Park Hotel in Rutherglen.

By “redoubtable” I mean cheap.

Actually it was £25.52 with my Booking.Com Genius status

£25.52 is about right for an old, poky room in the unglamorous suburbs of Glasgow, but it’s an ideal base to use the trains to explore Glasgow’s unlimited supply of Spoons.

Starting in East Kilbride.

East Kilbride
The Holy Trinity of EK, Hamilton and the ‘Well

I’d always associated East Kilbride with this lot;

(The Reid brother relocated to Fulham after the release of Psychocandy; an attempt to twin the towns never took off).

But Wiki suggests the town has also produced the varied joys of Lorraine Kelly, Alex Ferguson and Aztec Camera, which sounds like a supergroup waiting to happen.

It may always be raining in Glasgow according to Nick Abbot on LBC, but I arrived on one of the two dry days mandated by the SNP, and had a dry approach to the shopping centre that basically is the town. It alone justified my journey from the South.

The Corby of the North

Reading Wiki now, I’m astonished to find it’s the 6th largest Scottish settlement, 75,120 souls, most of whom were actually in the indoor shopping centre from hell.


It’s quite a smart centre to be honest, but completely unfathomable. If lost, look for the toy grabber.

I’d have got you all one but I hate Christmas

In the Hay Stook, I had to join a queue of folk clutching menus.

Bit scared by the Canada hat

Then a young chap barged past us and went straight to the bar.

Is there a queue here” I asked the Canada hat man.

******* supposed to be. ****” he said, seething.

Then something caught my eye.


Yes ! A two tier system that prioritises drinkers ! Take that !

The chap in front even had a pint of cask. In Scotland.


It was all going well, until I drunk it. Never trust an English rugby themed beer, folks.

Or a Spoons that runs out of beans.


  1. Been there twice-vinegar both times. Ditto places ranging from Sheerness to Streatham. Notice there is a letter in What’s Brewing from someone in Hampshire saying he has never had a bad pint in a Spoons. He must be lucky or sticks to a good local one. Of the last twenty I have had 50% have been good and 25% undrinkable. Several non GBG ones included in the latter, and mostly GBG ones in the good half.


  2. I love the bean sign -interested in how anyone can possibly be inconvenienced by lack of Heinz beans ! I have to put up with nonsense signs like this this where I work (we frequently have signs saying “Please bare with us while this is fixed ” & as the girl who Googled the spelling insisted the spelling was correct, ,the sign stayed Sadly no one stripped off


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