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Thornton le Dale has more gentle folk visitors than residents, here for the chocolate factory and a vain attempt to uncover the meaning behind “Rorty Crankle”.

There’s a pub of that name in Kent, if it helps.

No idea

Chocolate and mystery aside, it’s a peaceful village of streams and ponds and disputes over the queue for the ice cream parlour.

The New Inn is already winning by not being a micro/brewery tap/closed.

It’s a solid enough pub, but there’s a few too many blackboards outside for comfort.

The average pensioner isn’t reading any of those.

More writing than a BRAPA post

I’m seeing more pubs with only three beers on recently. Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many, but it’s a start.

Rubbish Camerons pump clip

I toy with plonking myself in the lounge to eavesdrop on disputes about splitting the bill,

but chicken out and join the slightly younger drinkers listening to ABBA Greatest Hits and Space Oddity. An odd mash-up.

An average Theakston is selected to annoy Richard. At least it’s cool.

I give it 20 minutes for something interesting to happen or see a pint of cask pulled.

Neither occurs.

27 thoughts on “RORTY CRANKLE

  1. There was a Rorty Crankle in Kent Martin, just a few miles up the road from here, in the picturesque village of Plaxtol, but alas no more. It is now a private house, and has been for quite a few years.

    The wonderful Golding Hop, just a few miles outside Plaxtol, also closed a couple of years ago, leaving just the Papermakers Arms in the village centre. This place unfortunately advertises itself as a “gastro-pub.”

    Liked by 1 person

      1. May I relieve you of your exasperation and disappointment good Sir? A “rort” is a rowdy celebration, and rorty means akin to that. Whereas a “crankle” is a fold, corner, nook, bend, twist, or crinkle.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Reminded me, for the first time this millennium, of seventies band Planxty – wonder what became of them? (can’t be arsed to google).

        Liked by 1 person

    1. As teenagers in the sixties we made many visits to both the Rorty Crankle and the Golding Hop in Kent. I think the prices were 7d for the rough cider and 9d for sweet. Great days!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “but there’s a few too many blackboards outside for comfort.”

    By the time you’d finished reading all of that… it would be closed!

    “Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many, but it’s a start.”

    Pfft. A bitter, a porter and an IPA should be ‘de rigueur’.

    “Neither occurs.”

    Should’ve taken Si along. 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

      1. It no doubt is but it’s in so many pubs where they don’t sell enough or keep it right that I avoid it. Last decent pint I had was in Arabian Horse just down the road in Aberford. Lots of rumours that many remote places are serving keg through hand pump.


  3. Rorty “anklebiter” Crankle, diminutive defensive midfielder for Rochdale in the mid 60’s. Career ending injury after having an ill advised battle with Norman Hunter in a third round FA cup match.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I did have a laugh at the line “Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many.” We’re fast approaching the point where you feel the only way to guarantee the cask has proper turnover is for three different pubs to share just one pump handle between them. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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