More cutting-edge craft in North Yorkshire, or North Awesome as it’s now known.
Thornton le Dale has more gentle folk visitors than residents, here for the chocolate factory and a vain attempt to uncover the meaning behind “Rorty Crankle”.
There’s a pub of that name in Kent, if it helps.
Chocolate and mystery aside, it’s a peaceful village of streams and ponds and disputes over the queue for the ice cream parlour.
The New Inn is already winning by not being a micro/brewery tap/closed.
It’s a solid enough pub, but there’s a few too many blackboards outside for comfort.
The average pensioner isn’t reading any of those.
I’m seeing more pubs with only three beers on recently. Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many, but it’s a start.
I toy with plonking myself in the lounge to eavesdrop on disputes about splitting the bill, 
but chicken out and join the slightly younger drinkers listening to ABBA Greatest Hits and Space Oddity. An odd mash-up.
An average Theakston is selected to annoy Richard. At least it’s cool.
I give it 20 minutes for something interesting to happen or see a pint of cask pulled.
Neither occurs.
retiredmartin 
You know what these big mega brewers are like peddling their average beer… probably brewed in Wolves anyway 😄
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There was a Rorty Crankle in Kent Martin, just a few miles up the road from here, in the picturesque village of Plaxtol, but alas no more. It is now a private house, and has been for quite a few years.
The wonderful Golding Hop, just a few miles outside Plaxtol, also closed a couple of years ago, leaving just the Papermakers Arms in the village centre. This place unfortunately advertises itself as a “gastro-pub.”
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I saw the Plaxtol one in my Google search but was advised the website explaining the name wasn’t safe 🙁
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May I relieve you of your exasperation and disappointment good Sir? A “rort” is a rowdy celebration, and rorty means akin to that. Whereas a “crankle” is a fold, corner, nook, bend, twist, or crinkle.
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Well done, Sir. I will sleep easier tonight.
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Reminded me, for the first time this millennium, of seventies band Planxty – wonder what became of them? (can’t be arsed to google).
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There tha goest, Clive:
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Hipster.
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As teenagers in the sixties we made many visits to both the Rorty Crankle and the Golding Hop in Kent. I think the prices were 7d for the rough cider and 9d for sweet. Great days!
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I think you go for the rough cider and regret it the next day 😉
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“but there’s a few too many blackboards outside for comfort.”
By the time you’d finished reading all of that… it would be closed!
“Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many, but it’s a start.”
Pfft. A bitter, a porter and an IPA should be ‘de rigueur’.
“Neither occurs.”
Should’ve taken Si along. 🙂
Cheers
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Sometimes I think Russ is just phoning it in …
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Sigh. There are days when my muse is MIA. 😉
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I’ve had more average pints of Theakstons than I care to remember, that’s the problem with it. It can be decent if kept well and turned over, but can’t most beers.
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But isn’t Theakstons better now that it’s all brewed at Masham, rather than some at Carlisle and Newcastle ?
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It no doubt is but it’s in so many pubs where they don’t sell enough or keep it right that I avoid it. Last decent pint I had was in Arabian Horse just down the road in Aberford. Lots of rumours that many remote places are serving keg through hand pump.
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Surely you can tell the difference?
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Probably could if I drank it often but I don’t so I wouldn’t know
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Rorty “anklebiter” Crankle, diminutive defensive midfielder for Rochdale in the mid 60’s. Career ending injury after having an ill advised battle with Norman Hunter in a third round FA cup match.
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VAR would have prevented it reaching that point.
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I presume that would have been Konstantin Var, Hungarian referee of 1970 world cup fame?
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I did have a laugh at the line “Of course that’s still two (if not three) too many.” We’re fast approaching the point where you feel the only way to guarantee the cask has proper turnover is for three different pubs to share just one pump handle between them. 😉
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What an excellent idea, Mark.
Three pubs could connect their single hand pump to a single barrel equidistant between them.
Can’t see any problems with that.
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If that was my web site of http://www.Dover-Kent.Com I can assure you it’s a lot safer than most. It’s just that it’s not secure for financial transactions, which is doesn’t have to be as there are none. I am all free. Google unfortunately spread false rumours.
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Pleased to here you’re safe, Paul. Thanks for the update.
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By the way, the direct link to the Plaxtol Rorty Crankle is here:- http://www.dover-kent.com/2018-Project/Rorty-Crankle-Plaxtol.html
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Thanks Paul. I love it when get expert insight.
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