There must be a better blog title than that, but I’ve just had a haggis supper on the Royal Mile and I can’t be bothered.

Be prepared to be a bit surprised, though I’ll wager I can count the number of you who’ve previously enjoyed Scunny’s charms on one hand (a trip to Glanford Park doesn’t count).

Loads of this


Note I’ve marked the Berkeley Hotel, just reopened by Sams but a bit of a trek from the centre with my intensive schedule to keep up. A return trip to bring you its glories, hopefully swearing and mobile phone use, is on my giant To Do list.

Anyway, pub first, art later.

Genuinely odd

The Honest Lawyer (aren’t they all) was a Beer Guide regular in the late 90s/early 2000s, so I MUST have done it, mustn’t I ?

I hadn’t, you’d remember that exterior, and the staggering beer range.


The Sea Fury was £2 a half, too; quite a contrast with the Spoons across the road. A couple finished their Sunday lunch upstairs and left me the only customer on Sunday lunchtime.

The two staff were, and I don’t say this just so they don’t berate me on the blog, extremely friendly and cheery, despite the lack of custom. The most popular ale was Carling, apparently.

A pub to myself, I could singalonga Duran Duran (“View to a kill”) and Japan’s early classic “Like In Tokyo” and pretend I was Mark Crilley in 1985.

Mark would no doubt have enjoyed the classic wine bar décor,

Where to start ?

and had that internal dialogue which starts “Hey, is the beer meant to taste like this ?”

NBSS 2 in my book, not dull enough to take back, but wondering quite when the volume sales that get the Lawyer in the Guide happen. Is there a vast legal profession that head here at 6 in the evening ?

Not obviously.

A lot of great art though. Much of it very angry.


An arcade of low rise shops and blossom turned out to be the High Street, crowned by the vast Primark to the east.


This charity shop had an interesting Soviet-style design;

1950s Scunthorpe

Turned out it was an independent café-cum-market with Backyard keg and Brooklyn lager on tap. Almost a craft invasion by North Lincs standards.

I stuck to the long black, which was remarkably good.

An ambient soundtrack pervades here

Genuinely, if Indie was in Shoreditch there’d be people queuing around the block. As it was it seemed the busiest place on a Scunthorpe Sunday.

My first visit to the town centre since 1995, when Mrs RM booked a flight to New Zealand while I watched Scunny beat Rotherham 4-1. Ah, memories.

The centre looks unchanged, though perhaps a longer line of mobility scooters.

More mobs than people

I consulted the local tourist information board for ideas on how to spend 17 minutes.


And concluded that taking photos of old pubs and broken bottles was probably my best option.

Live @ Oscars
Broken Britain

Well, if that hasn’t sold you Scunthorpe, I don’t know what will.


  1. The last couple of poetry/art posts are almost certainly to get you your own show on Radio 4. Just don’t mention the pubs. Very enjoyable. Sure you haven’t been in the Berkeley? Giant roadhouse near Glanford Park.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Been to Berkeley a coupla times pre-blog but fancy a return to capture its glories. Mudgie tweeted about it this week. Have improved wording in case the GBG tickers council sense foul play when I call Lincs complete.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My home city used to be called Snottingham, charmlessly, but the invading Normans didn’t like double consonants such as “sn”, so they dropped the “s”.

    You can see why the good burghers of Scunthorpe fought them so valiantly.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Marvellous!!! Scunny always felt bleak even in summer and average cask not a big draw although you’ve sold it to me as a Winfield cert 👍 why do pubs bang out eighties tunes apart from fact that they are good? I don’t recall listening to Bill Haley and Chuck Berry all night in boozers in the 80s😉


  4. “and pretend I was Mark Crilley in 1985.” –Ha! Thanks for the shout out, Martin. I was indeed a devoted fan of Japan back in the early 80s, and (unlike a lot of the music I liked back then) I still enjoy their songs now.

    Did you ever learn the story behind the “Honest Lawyer” name? Seems like one of those ones that’s almost designed to make people wonder why they chose such a name!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. > a trip to Glanford Park doesn’t count

    Never been to Glanford Park, but did go to the Old show Ground. A group of us went out of curiosity whilst on a course in Nottingham – we saw Ian Botham play for Scunthorpe United !

    I think he played about a dozen games for “The Iron” before going to Yeovil.


  6. “Loads of this”

    Is that a sad burglar giving us the three finger salute?

    “Note I’ve marked the Berkeley Hotel, ”

    I take it in the map above the Scunthorpe solar farm is powering British Steel just to the north of it?

    “Genuinely odd”

    But intriguing.

    “Where to start ?”

    High tables?

    “NBSS 2 in my book,”

    Obviously they pulled from the backup pump. 🙂

    “1950s Scunthorpe”

    Blimey. Coffee shop, music house and charity to boot.

    “Turned out it was an independent café-cum-market with Backyard keg and Brooklyn lager on tap.”


    “More mobs than people”

    I bet it looks nice at Christmas time.


    Not sure if you’d have been able to get your hair and makeup done in under 17 minutes.

    “Broken Britain”

    What, most of your immigrants come from Mexico !


    Liked by 1 person

      1. “When will your grandson start following my blog?”

        Since he’s not yet of legal drinking age I’ll have to come up with a innocuous pseudonym first.

        Perhaps…….. Smith? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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