Just when you think you’ve seen it all…

I have lists of favourite towns of course, but also a lifelong interest in finding a truly hapless town.  If pressed, the average Briton would come up with a list of places they’ve never actually been to.  Bootle, Grimsby, Luton, York etc. etc.

They’d surely never pick Haywards Heath in the heart of Sussex commuterville.

Haywards Heath.PNG

Incredibly, I’d never stopped here in 25 years of relentless UK travel, though the adjacent village of Lindfield impressed me again last year.

At the end of that post I presciently asked;

Is there anything brilliant in Haywards Heath ?

Er, no.

Good Caffe Nero to be fair
Good as it gets

It was deeply, deeply dull, and you know how hard I try to find redeeming features.  OK, trees weren’t growing out of buildings, and there wasn’t rubbish strewn down alleys like Birmingham yesterday, but my soul sank as I did the Google-led walking tour.

The best I could do was this takeaway which will appeal only to Russ.


The shops in a sea of concrete were all either estate agents, beauticians or pizzerias, until you reach the Broadway and a strip of chain bistros that recalls small town Essex at its TOWIE worst.

Nice tree

To be fair, GBG newbie the Lockhart is the best of the bunch.

Pub garden !!!

If it looks familar, you’ve read my post on the Petersfield faux-craft bar. Or you’ve been to Altrincham recently.

High tables tick
Readable list

FAR too many beers, but on the face of it an exciting list (though oddly no Dark Star). I’m not one for exciting, as you’ll know, so I pick the 360 Degrees Best and hope.

Always go for the beer you can read

All the proper tables are taken by Sunday lunch families and Prosecco gentlefolk so I have the high table all to myself.

Acoustic covers of the Cure’s “Boys Don’t Cry” accompany my OK half, which I know tasted better somewhere else last year.


I had a near identical experience down the road in Burgess Hill, which now seemed like the Promised Land compared to the Heath.

Fire away Haywardians, or whatever you’re  called.




22 thoughts on “HAYWARD’S HELL

  1. > my OK half, which I know tasted better somewhere else last year.

    That makes it sound like you are carrying an old half with you, just in case the tick has no ale !


  2. “(though oddly no Dark Star)” – maybe they’ve heard that malted barley has already been replaced by rice grist !


  3. Loving your choice of beers. Each to his or her own I suppose (and I do respect that). In the face of so much quality (I can’t see all the beers on the list, but see a few more in the pump clip pic), all I would say is, don’t ever take up gambling or you’d be consistently picking out the donkey in a field of Derby Winners! 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜


  4. So glad you mentioned Lindfield, and ashamed I’d missed your earlier post about the place (though I followed the link to catch up on it just now); that was the town I spent one night in during my trip to England in November 2011.

    Happy memories of strolling from the pond up the high street and onward onto some of the country paths nearby. I stayed at the Bent Arms; a very humble room, as I recall– wouldn’t go out of my way to stay there again! Now I’m wishing I’d gone to one of the pubs, but I was heavily jet lagged and ill-equipped for a drink that evening, sadly.


  5. I’ve been to Haywards Heath!! Was in a very generic bar (The Star?) prior to being dragged to Dark Star when they hadjust moved to their second site. All I can remember is being accosted by an irritating drunken Glaswegian who claimed to be trained to kill.

    Liked by 1 person

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