Yes, proper lacings, a sign of fresh beer.

In a pub I’m going to have to anonymise as they were very publicity-shy. Telling you it’s a Holt’s pub in Salford hardly narrows it down, does it ? It’s in a village that sounds like it’s owned by a City legend whose first name is shared with a legendary Manchester pub.

I like to publicise places and pubs, but I don’t fancy the aggro, so all I’ll do on this post is applaud Salford CAMRA (again) for getting an uncompromising one-beer pub in the Guide, purely on the basis of beer quality. And possibly football urinals.

No beer poured here

I don’t even think the guest beer, even if they had one, was anything exotic like Wainwright or Bombardier.

One all you need

And why add slow-selling beers when your Holt Bitter is this good, and most of your sales are Fosters ?

The stand-in bar manager was having to deal with lumps in the Stella“. Sounds like craft, I should have had one.

A running comic argument between the four Old Boys concerned the lighting of the fire (“Don’t touch it !”), and the phrase “I can see a hose pipe“, which may or may not have been code for “check your flies“.

Terrific cool, chewy bitter, NBSS 3.5+, but it’s the “Mighty Quinn” ringtone that will stick in the mind.

Simon will love it; any crafties popping in on their way home from IndyMan would have a panic attack.

Long live Holt.


    1. Their beer is closer to my image of an English bitter than any other beer, and you will rarely get a duff pint. I think our view of Holt may be coloured by their dull refurbishments of pubs in Pub Curmudgeon’s patch, rather than pubs like this in Northern Manchester where food plays a tiny part of the trade.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Griffin in Heaton Mersey is still a proper Holts pub, albeit one that is often virtually devoid of customers. 😦

        However, we do have some of their most foodified pubs in this area, and we all know which way the wind is blowing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, thanks for making this comment, Martin; don’t think I’d have otherwise known that Holt’s has such a special place for you. Makes me want to seek it out when I get the chance.

        Didn’t think anything could sound much worse to me than a Stella, but “lumps in the Stella“ has got me rethinking this. 😉


  1. I see young BRAPA has shown commendable fortitude for his visit to Barnsley.
    Instead of just sitting around complaining all day about poor wi-fi signals and iffy eggs benedict and that horrible Northern bloke who laughed at him because he was too soft to open a pub door he overcame his technological difficulties and just GOT ON WITH IT.
    The future of ticking is in safe hands.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Another urinal pic -you need help or perhaps a separate blog so us ladies don’t have to see such images =I really hate mens toilets particularly after straying into the one at The Rake -I was traumatised

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “One all you need” reminds me of the Holt’s Bitter in the Hare and Hounds early this month.
    But one day isn’t all one needs in Manchester and so I shall return there for a Proper Day Out on Monday 1st April ( no joke ) and am booked to arrive into Piccadilly at 11.45am.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that my joy in solving your riddle led to my blurting out too much information on that, Martin, and I hope that no harm was done.

      TBH, I took your invoking the pub’s reticence for publicity as not 100% serious, and just a way of setting up a cryptic challenge, as you sometimes do.

      However, having deduced what I believe the pub to be, and having read some of the postings on a review site, I can understand why they take that position.


  4. “No beer poured here”

    Depends on how many pints the person performing that action has had. 😉

    “which may or may not have been code for “check your flies“.”


    “Terrific cool, chewy bitter, NBSS 3.5+”

    And, as you said, the glass when it’s empty is in praise the lord territory*.

    * (amazing lace) 😉



    1. JR, if you know some of the erstwhile, legendary pubs of Manchester, then my “rebuke” to Martin, in my post before last, might offer a further clue.

      I’d better not say any more.


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