I woke bright and early on my birthday, ready to face the world. Starting with the gentlefolk outside Booths in Kirkby Lonsdale. It’s a very Booths & Barbour sort of place.
But very polite they were, and smiled at the Father Christmas murdering “Fairytale of New York”.
This is a town that scored highly in Pub Curmudgeon’s small town poll this year, as well as being a favourite of my drinking/curry buddy Charles.
I confess it’s passed me by, there never seemed a lot to it, bar the Orange Tree.
Decent cobbles,
And a superlative view that some bloke called Ruskin has trademarked.
Sure, pleasant old coaching inns, starched cafes, and as many ironmongers as any town needs. A bit twee, I think the word is. Genteel may be another one.
Both of those fit the local microbrew tap, the Royal Barn.
With it’s giant, er, barn-like openness and scatter cushions Mrs RM would have loved it. She might even be getting some inspiration for conversion potential for another barn.
You can tell the calibre of a place by the colour of the scarf a gentleman wears to it.
Actually, it had a bit of worn-in character, having previously been used as a lock-up for dissenters against craft in the 17th century.
Today the crimes are against music, with a soundtrack of the Corrs and Tracy Chapman to accompany a huge workforce putting up Christmas decorations (on 22/12 ?).
“An upmarket, improved, Brewhouse and Kitchen” I thought, self-assuredly.
The Gold was very good, cool and rich (NBSS 3.5). Beer isn’t always that great in a Brewery Tap, particularly when they fluff it out with gins and gingerbread men.
If only they’d given me a drink and a cake free, AS IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.
retiredmartin 
“Just back from KL, man”
“Oh, Kirby Lonsdale?”
“Excuse me?”
I can never resist it.
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Definitely my favourite small town to stroll into. A proper bakers for tea and cake, good billets and decent beers. Solid and reliable.
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Yes, indeed, a proper bakers.
Long before Richard Coakes became Kirkby Lonsdale’s baker and the town’s Chamber of Trade and Commerce spokesman I knew him as an Eccleshall resident and fellow committee member of the local CAMRA branch, but that was probably at least forty years ago.
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Happy belated birthday, Martin. You and I are close enough in age that I think I can say with confidence that we remember the disco era, but not with great clarity, and for that we should perhaps be grateful. 😉
Interesting to think that “beer isn’t always that great in a Brewery Tap.” Is it that the beer is *too* fresh? Or for some other reason?
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Some of these Brewery Taps seem to have dozens of beers on (literally, in the case of one in Bowland), as well as encouraging you in with gin and coffee and keg. Usual rules apply, too many beers = average beer.
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I see; well perhaps it’s the opposite of what I thought. Though the beers are brewed just yards away from the dispense point, if they put loads of them on tap and don’t sell the product particularly quickly, the beers can in fact be not very fresh at all.
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I think you’re right to assume they SHOULD be at their very best from the brewery, Mark. The cask beer at Robinsons and Marston’s was both nectar at their Visitor Centres !
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“outside Booths in Kirby Lonsdale.”
Kirkby my good man.
“Don’t slip up on your birthday”
If you do, you’ll be hobbled on the cobbles (and can give Si a go with regards to wonky knees).
“that some bloke called Ruskin has trademarked.”
He’s no kin of mine. (in fact, at first I had him mixed up with Teddy Ruxpin) 🙂
” Genteel may be another one.”
(nods)
“You can tell the calibre of a place by the colour of the scarf a gentleman wears to it.”
That’s a dig at Si, innit?
“having previously been used as a lock-up for dissenters against craft in the 17th century.”
Or what we would call Luddites. 🙂
“to accompany a huge workforce putting up Christmas decorations (on 22/12 ?).”
Sigh, there’s no pleasing you is there? They either put them up too early or too late and either way you’ll complain. 😉
“AS IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.”
Did you tell them?
Cheers
PS – “With it’s giant, er, barn-like openness ”
Lose the apostrophe my good man.
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I can do what I like on my birthday post. (Joking. Never lose your standards, Russ).
NB What did you mean, did I tell them ? Can’t they see from my giant “I’m 54” badge ?
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That cobbled street is a cracker -reminded me of home -“wipes away a tear “
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Yes, and they are proper cobbles.
All too often a street laid with setts is described as cobbled.
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I expect a publican somewhere intent on increasing by half the price the price of his pork baps or pork cobs has relabelled them as Cobbled Pork.
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(applause)
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Home is where the next pint (or glass of Prosecco) is, Pauline ;-0
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Yes! Urinal shots are the pub bloggers 2020 go to feature.
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As I saw a famous pub blogger write, just the other day…
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Urinals, it’s the future. You could even do a feature on what type of urinal constitutes a proper pub, from the grandeur of Victorian Armitage Shanks to the pithy use of a cut away keg.
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The Belgians have the right idea. Just stick lots of pissoirs down residential streets at 100m intervals between pubs.
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We trialled that in Headingley circa 2006, seemed to work okay, but the residents were revolting …
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Marcel Duchamp, eat out your heart.
(See “Readymades”)
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A mini brewhouse and kitchen on your birthday…can it get any better???
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Obvs not 🤔
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