On to one of the real tourist honeypots that the Guide brings you kicking and screaming to, in this case on a slow train from Denmark Hill.
“Welcome to Bromley” screams the sign welcoming tourists, probably.
This is the place that South-east London and West Kent shoppers used to travel to in the decades before Bluewater, Amazon and Ikea.
It’s still heaving on the one main street leading south to north and containing 88.2% of the High Street brands.
Frankly, it’s poor blog material, even with a Hog Roast Hut. If you did an analysis of my DNA I would share about 0.3% of it with Mary Portas.
It took me ten minutes to find something of mild interest.
This is my first visit in what feels like a decade, back when the GBG pubs were seemingly smart foodie Fullers houses (is there any other type ?). No longer.
Just as Stockport loses Robbies pubs from the Guide, and SA Brain houses drop out in Cardiff, so the GBG trend against family brewers continues into Bromley, and we’re left with the attractive Star and Garter, bang next to the funeral directors.
Inside, it’s all very smart and modern, like a Nicholsons with keener pricing and better beer. You may take that as a firm recommendation; Richard will love it.
I had to have the cask, and had to have the Jarl, because it was Jarl. And good it was too, if a bit chilled (NBSS 3+).
But it took a while to get served, as the customers, Primark bags at the bar, INSISTED ON MULTIPLE TASTERS. Of the expensive keg beers too, not the cask.
What is this taster nonsense ? Have a couple of pints of Mikkeller, or Coconut Agamemnon Stout; it won’t kill you, and will make living in Bromley seem a lot better.
That apart, great place.
retiredmartin 
Contrary to a previous post about Locales – I would definitely feel at home in here, two of the beers are Locale to me! Lovely etched glass.
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It’s a classy pub, touch of Woodies in Headingly in it.
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Proper beer lineup.
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I waited at the bar in this pub while someone went very slowly through 4 tasters before settling on one. One she sniffed and rejected so I drank it to make a point but still couldn’t influence the funereal pace of the tasting. Agree with you on Jarl which was ok but not peak. It was busy and only one staff behind the bar, so took a mildly irrational dislike to the place. Another day I would probably have really liked it.
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Three tastes are my yardstick.
I have an irrational dislike of tossers who demand extensive tasters.
One is ok.You’re new to the pub,new to the beer.That’s fine.
Two slightly raises the concern of the barman.” Hello ” he thinks to himself. ” We have one here. ”
Three means full on klaxon Viz real ale twat alert.
I’ve sat at the bar and watched it happen.I’ve gone from chilled out,having a few scoops to hand me a cricket bat and I’ll batter these idiots to within an inch of their lives within three tastes and a couple of minutes.
As I say,it’s irrational.I’m not a violent bloke.
But tasting twats get on my tits big time.
I’m drunk by the way.
One minute I dropped a pall off at the pub and he said park the car and come in for a fast quart.
And the next minute I’m langers.
Good times.
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Max 2 should be permitted- you’re too tolerant!
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Good man.
On the other hand, I get irritated when the barperson starts saying “Yes mate” as you approach the bar, well before you can see the pumps, discount the Locale or peer over the bar to see which drip tray has any fluid in it. GIVE ME A SECOND MATE !
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P P-T,
I beg to differ.
There’s nothing whatsoever “irrational” about a “dislike of tossers who demand extensive tasters”.
Pubs should be for everyone but we might make an exception for “tasting twats”.
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Well said. You never see anyone ask for a taster of Cod & Chips or Massaman Curry, do you. Or Doom Bar for that matter.
DISCLAIMER: The barman gave me an unprompted taster of that 10% Imperial Stout at Sambrooks. Almost a third, mind !
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Did you just say “scoops” ? Bet you say “only 15 sleeps till Christmas”.
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I’m always relieved when I get your confirmatory comments, Duncan, as our readers would hate to thing we make ALL of this stuff up.
Yes, I saw three successive drinkers, all in their late 20s/early 30s, go through the range, with only the one young chap serving. Do folk ask for tasters in Mikkeller in Norrebro ? I think not. Perhaps they should introduce a £10 tasting ticket, but I think licensing laws prevent that.
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Those Mikkeller beer pump handles remind of the what I was talking about the other day: every brewery designing its own handles, resulting in a rather chaotic row of beer pumps of all shapes, sizes, and gimmicky styles. The old fashioned cask pump handles seem more dignified to me, but we’ve already established that I’m a boring traditionalist!
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Yes, I had those in mind when I did the post. First time I’ve seen those in the UK, those Goose Island is common, Dignity over novelty !
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Ooh. Jarl – is that pronounced “Yarl”? – nice.
So, Steve Jones – excellent UCL man – says that we all share 98% of our DNA with chimpanzees, yet Martin only 3% with Mary Portas.
I think that that is probably true.
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Mrs RM is an alumni of UCL. She’s certainly excellent.
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Didn’t Billy Idol come from Bromley? Always thought Gen X were underrated…I quite like Nicholson’s pubs as they tend to keep old trad style boozers going as opposed to just industrial units…this one looks good 👍
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Indeed he did, and Siouxsie and many others. Bit like Woking/Staines- suburbia leads to creativity.
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