Of all the places in the UK that seem to function only as Beer Guide headings, Hoyland is probably the greatest.
Unless you can tell me any other reason why Hoyland exists.
For context, I know people who’ve never been to Sheffield, let alone Barnsley. They probably think Hoyland is in Holland. But this cluster of a village is home to more GBG pubs than Luton, which I bet the Tourist Office is thrilled about.
Of course, when one of your pubs is run by a legend like Brad, you’re winning already.
Tap & Brew will win no prizes for originality of name or design.
Yes, another new (2017) micro in the Guide, but at least it’s open all week, which sounds positively decadent.
And it’s the first pub I’ve been to where I’m met at the door by pre-teen children lugging metal beer barrels up stairs in the pub.
“Can you help us mister ?”
Clearly, I gave them a hand; Children’s Orthopaedic services are stretched in South Yorkshire. They were heavy.
“What are you bring those barrels in for ” asked bewildered Mum, just opening up.
“Are you from the brewery” she asked. Do I look like I come from a brewery ?
Anyway, I lugged the barrel of Acorn Barnsley back out onto the street. Perhaps it was all subliminal advertising, as I only had eyes for the Acorn after that.
“I’ll just go and get the sparkler for that”
“Noooo. Don’t bother. I’ll have it flat please”
That’s obviously considered on the same level as adding lemonade to Tim Taylor Landlord up here.
“Ugh. Are you one of them Southerners then ?” It was asked in jest.
Our Landlady knew her beer, and kept it well, though I really should have had a head on the Barnsley (NBSS 3.5).
No photos, of course, but our two child slaves provided much entertainment; the girl sulking and the boy explaining J-Pop, which isn’t Hanson’s follow-up single.
“Quieten down. This gent came in for a quiet drink”
I really didn’t. I like life, however tinny.
Yes, I did trip over the scooter on the way out.