
Another day without the new Beer Guide, another day of torment. This would never have happened under Mr Protz, who probably stitched the Guides together himself, such was his commitment to the cause.
Back in April I warned Simon off the Red Lion in Kirtling, just deleted from the Guide for change of licensee and therefore a waste of one of Simon’s Six on Saturday.
So no idea why I chose to go there on a Bank Holiday Monday, but I always like to bring you snapshots of flat East Anglia.

The trip takes you past the UK’s most idiosyncratic pub in Saxon Street, determinedly closed on a Bank Holiday, of course.
Few venture to Kirtling, a place quieter than Clun but without the sun. No tourists, no pub tickers, no nothing. I saw not a soul, bar the odd curtain twitcher as I tried to work out the average price of a house here in horse racing land (c. £472,000, I guess).


Facebook gave no clues, and I was astonished to find the Red Lion open on a Monday, even a Bank Holiday one. Not that you’d have known from outside.
I had no recollection of it at all, despite the rare pictorial sign and gin advert.


Possibly that’s because there’s 137 pubs in the rustic style in Suffolk. Old, pale paint, large tables, candles, Prosecco, casual dining, etc.

But it lives, it sells beer from the barrel, and it has those pouffes we hold so dear in this country (top)
Simon might turn out to be a bit annoyed with me for scuppering his visit here, as the change of licensee hasn’t mucked the beer up.

Even in that hideous Adnams glass (why can’t folk see the horror) the Colchester summer beer was chewy and cool (NBSS 3.5). I only picked it as I’d spotted the tap dripping. Follow the drips.
With the inside filled with a large family group, I sat outside with smokers and dog walkers and admired the smoking shelter.

Dog owners are very loud, aren’t they ? One read out their text messages IN CAPITALS for no reason.
A dog was eating the butterflies; a toddler was playing in the gravel.
“Olly need poo” As pub banter goes, it left a little to be desired.
Clearly ticking over, if no destination pub, not exactly heaving on our last public holiday before Christmas (unless BRAPA finishes the Guide in October and we get the week off).
All the evidence you need that big houses rarely house pubgoers. I finished off a circular walk via Cowlinge. You can see two other pubs that were there ten years ago or so, before you-know-what.

It was a very dull walk.
Hurry up Beer Guide.
Infinitely preferable to “Olly done poo”.
Or was it the spirit of Mr. Reed reincarnated from his final pub visit?
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Olly Murs more likely.
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Which might be humourous if it meant anything more to me than some vague “celebrity” name. Or a half decent scrabble score.
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I visited there on a Sunday afternoon 5 weeks ago, even cycled from WB, just me and the couple who ran the place after the lunch crowd had left. Had a decent Humpty Dumpty ale and good chat with them. Ended up recommending local breweries to Cambridge for beers for their August bank holiday fest. Hope they’re able to keep it running and your comment about ‘big houses’ was also echoed by the owners…
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It got deleted from the current Beer Guide last year due to change of licensee, but current owners seemed very much Beer Guide standard, if you get my point. Good village pub in an area that wants restaurants.
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“Clearly ticking over” is a neat additional reference to the absence of the GBG! I know of at least two women who want to keep their eye on you so it could have been one of them. They both come from Peel.
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Please don’t mention Peel.
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The dripping tap gets no more money in the till but it attracts your attention better than a jam jar and it clears each cask within three days.
How rare to find a pub with such attention to detail.
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What an excellent businessman you are, Paul. Leave all the taps running all day to make sure there’s no beer in the barrel at the end of 3 days. Brilliant.
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“I only picked it as I’d spotted the tap dripping. Follow the drips.” –This was the first I recall reading of you using this method for deducing which beer to order; have you used it in the past?
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Oh no, I always look at the taps, though as much to get a sense of how busy the pup is overall. None of those beers really said “I’m the one, pick me !” so looking for clues is always important 😉
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I would always peer over the bar to see how full each of the drip trays was if I wasn’t the pub’s first customer of the day – and that doesn’t work in all the Yorkshire and Scottish pubs with Autovacs.
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“snapshots of flat East Anglia.”
Isn’t Kirtling a type of fancy sewing stitch?
“the Colchester summer beer was chewy and cool”
Was that their No. 1 or their Jack Spitty?
“and admired the smoking shelter.”
You’re having us on. Elf and Safety state you have to be more than 100 yards from any building to smoke.
““Olly need poo””
Clearly, Si HAS been there. 😉
“It was a very dull walk.”
I’m still waiting for them to tell us just exactly what Lucy Wood, do.
Cheers
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Don’t ask me questions about beer Russ ! The Colchester had summer or blonde or similar in the title.
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