Two days at home then off on Sunday to Durham, a trip which will culminate in this…
Be very excited, Bass fans.
But first, I went chasing waterfalls,
and the end of the Durham chapter of the Beer Guide. Every week brings a new county to a close these days.
My sixth trip up to Scotch Corner this year, and my 3rd attempt to visit Café 1618 in Middleton-on-Tees, the ideal base for exploring Teesdale. Ideal not for proximity to High Force, but because it’s got a proper ironmonger, scones and cream, and parking for your motorbike behind the Victorian cherub.
My mind immediately went back to the summer of ’75.
Chris Spedding, famed for playing with the Vibrators and punk rock icons the Wombles in the same year, came from Staveley, not far from Matlock Spa.
There’s a touch of the Spa town about Middleton; swamped by bikers and folk willing to pay £20 for a porcelain meerkat dressed as Lewis Hamilton.
Café 1618 was on a hiding to nothing, having notoriously failed to be open when the GBG said it would be not once but twice, with what we tickers call “owner-friendly opening hours”. The website is now a sort of prospectus for potential buyers, with no indication of trading, let alone opening hours.
But, fool as I am, I tipped up anyway, and was slightly miffed delighted to find it open.
Particularly with such a tremendous range of beers.
No, one beer suits me. What I struggled with was the obstacle course on the way to the bar.
The lady held her hand out expectantly tome, before turning to ask “How much is it ?”
I could have guessed it was £1.50, it’s virtually a micro isn’t it ? The loo was the tiniest I’ve ever been in. But they were playing “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits, so it can’t be a micro, can it ?
Outside, the Tow Law Hells Angels were ordering their Americanos “with a bit of milk. On the siiiiide“.
I was the only one braving the Daleside, which beer bores would deduce had diacetyl notes. I noted a hazy head (NBSS 1.5).
Still, I won’t have to do it again, and the walk along the Tees was rather wonderful, though I never did get to High Force.
Until I suddenly realised the footpath was gone, and had to sneak through the sewage works back to civilisation. A good start.
retiredmartin 
Middleton in Teesdale is a lovely small town and the walk by the River Tees to Low Force and High Force is the nicest stretch of the Pennine Way.
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Yes it’s gorgeous Charlie. Really underrated.
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Strathmore Arms would’ve been better. 😉
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Great stuff! Love the obstacle course and dire straits references BUT as if the excitement of beer porn aka Bass isn’t enough I get Chris Spedding in his pomp and find out he’s almost my neighbour! (Well same county at least) Marvellous 🍺
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Same county ! That’s as good as sleeping in your kitchen !
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I do like that tune!!!
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What, “Motor bikin'” or “Sleep in my kitchen” by UB40.
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Motorbikin…sleep in my kitchen is the cover version they did with Chrissie Hynde 😀
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“Red Red Wine poured in my petrol tank by mistake” was a classic.
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So I imagine all of those meerkats were purchased to be included in this year’s massive Christmas display outside Martin Towers?
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This year’s display will be a more economical affair than previously. I’ll write the “Bugger off carol singers” sign in cheaper ink.
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So you don’t have a collecting tin out for the “Bass Preservation Society”?
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Excellent idea, but I’ll nominate April 31st as Bass Day.
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From the look of those gents in front of Cafe 1618, those are just amped up mobility scooters? 😉
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I guess I should fill in my details so I don’t remain anonymous…
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Excellent philosophical point.
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That loo does look small -I came across a really tiny one in Scotland -my rather ample chum couldn’t get in -the sink was located in the cistern * Very neat ! (* low level obvs ! )
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Are you sure it was a loo, Pauline ?
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Lovely place Middleton in Teasdale. So nice they once applied to become part of Yorkshire. The folk and the countryside merited inclusion in GOC, unfortunately the beer let it down. I see nothing has changed.
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Never seen a head like that on your first beer photo – it looks like an uncooked meringue!
I’m surprised you turned back before High Force – I’d have definitely have wanted to see that. Not been yet…
Carol.
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I should have gone to High Force, Carol, it is spectacular (so’s much of the Weardale). Hope you’re up and walking soon, love the blog !
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thanks Martin. I’m hoping to be ‘retiredCarol’ soon too 😉
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