A PROPER FULL ENGLISH IN ROYAL TUNBRIDGE WELLS

April 2026. Royal Tunbridge Wells.

I’m still driving down to see Dad every week, that smile is worth any journey,

but now without the stress of checking on a house that had been “Sold Subject to Contract” for a year.

We combined the trip to Waterbeach with one to Mrs RM’s parents in Kent, where the Spoons in Tonbridge might well become our most visited pub of 2026.

Visits to the in-laws have rarely been stress-free, but this latest trip was possibly the easiest since (checks marriage certificate) 1991.

We were meeting some famous Americans in London (not werewolves) the next day, and treated ourselves to a couple of nights in a trad hotel near the Wells.

The Russell on London Road was only a few quid more than the Travelodge, had free parking, a 10 minute walk to the station and Pantiles, and that look of faded civility that characterises South-East England.

I mean, look at the in-room telephone.

Even better, it had a cooked breakfast included.

And while that printed menu may look a bit Fawlty Towers,

this was the Full English of your dreams, particularly the expensive tasting sausage and bacon.

The sausage and bacon Mrs RM opted NOT to have.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

22 thoughts on “A PROPER FULL ENGLISH IN ROYAL TUNBRIDGE WELLS”

      1. Oh my, well, if you need a hand moving your stuff out once the divorce goes through, I’m not far away.

        I shall give her my best withering, shaking of the head look, next time I see her.

        She should rename her blog one small breakfast….😁😂🤣

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      2. Did she ask at a level such that everyone else in the room could hear though?

        Mrs E asked for a side salad with her steak and chips recently. The staff assumed that this meant that the chips were cancelled, the request for a salad usually following a “WITH NO CHIPS” presumably…

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  3. Ah yes.

    I remember civility.

    Unrelated, I’ve just eaten delicious battered fish with thirteen frozen chips and a heaped teaspoon of mushy peas.
    I cancelled the tartare sauce and burnt quarter lemon. Would it be uncivil to ask for five more chips and a second teaspoon of peas in lieu next time?

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  4. A fried slice? Blimey, hardly anywhere does that any more. It’s nearly always toast, which is a poor substitute. Even more so when it’s brown bread.

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      1. I’m with you all the way, Bill.

        How about a fried brown slice? Never had one, but it sounds like an abomination.

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      1. Mrs B and I once spent a couple of nights in an Indian-themed hotel in Edinburgh. Nice but a bit strange. However the full English/Scottish was perfect.

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    1. Well there are none against tartare sauce, Bill, so I guess that anything goes?

      It’s actually OK, and surprisingly similar to white.

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  6. I much prefer an independent/family run hotel, to a chain like Premier of Travelodge, but have difficulty in persuading Mrs PBT’s round to my way of thinking. I stayed at quite a few independent places, on various trips to Norfolk, when my parents, and then my father, was still alive, and I can only think of one that failed to deliver (it’s no longer trading).

    However, you’re the first person I know to have stayed at the Russell, so it’s good to read good things about it.

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    1. The room was spacious and clean, though I suspect most reviews would say “in need of modernisation”. Check-in and out was immediate and unfussy. There’s a resident’s bar but no sign of trade. I’d use it again.

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