April 2026. Lincoln.
I’m not adding the Ritz to my extensive “2026 Pubs Visited” spreadsheet,
as I didn’t even have a can of San Pellegrino, so terrified was I of needing a comfort break on the bus to Wragby in half an hour, and having to get off at the North Greetwell stop and never getting home again.
This is what I could have had for £1.95 with my new year’s Spoons vouchers;
Coach House is never a good sign.
But I did eat there, and admired the list of the greats who graced the Art Deco theatre as cinema attendances dwindled.
Yes ! That’s THE Chubby Brown, THE Freddie Starr and hamster, THE Mr Men (not to be confused with 1987 hitmakers Mister Mister.
Nowadays it’s just a Spoons so you don’t get Barbara Dickson, but you can read “The Jealous God” by John Braine while waiting for your small portion of Whitby scampi.
I’m not claiming this as a life hack, but eight Whitby scampi for £5.39 from the “Sides, extras and sauces” menu is the way to go, smothered in French tartare sauce. Who knew the French made anything useful ?
This is a weirdly shaped Spoons, with the drinkers by the front and the diners clustered by the bar.
Plenty of small tables for the drinkers,
stylishly dressed and coiffured. Killing Joke are big round here, though they never played the Ritz.
The drama came late. The chap headed off to the loos, leaving a beer mat on top of his pint and his jacket on the table. Plenty of seats in an unusually quiet JDW.
On his return, an Old Boy had moved the coat, plonked himself down and put his own pint next to the half drunk one. The mild altercation on the return of the first bloke was priceless (actually, £5.39). Had it been two women you’d be reading about it on MumsNet tonight.
Apparently, it was the Old Boy’s favourite seat. Well, that’s OK, then.
retiredmartin 
“Coach House is never a good sign”.
Yes, the new Greenall Whitley.
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Is that unfair Paul ?
I always have them down as one of the “value” breweries who you only see in Wetherspoons and North-Western micropubs.
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I don’t think it’s unfair Martin.
Greenall Whitley was one of the least well regarded breweries fifty years ago ( and we all know what those four lads on their way to Ireland in March 1971 though of beer in Chester where G W had most of the pubs ) and it was the former G W brewers who set up Coachhouse in 1991 and brewed similar beers.
Maybe only being in Wetherspoons and North-Western micropubs, and I don’t see them elsewhere ( except the permanent beer in the Swan at Stone ), proves something.
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Have not seen a real life punk in forever. And yes, a Mumsnet thread about seat stealing would have lasted 9 months and beyond.
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Lana, there’s still a real life punk in Stafford, former road sweeper but now retired, occasionally gets in the Railway Inn ( which today suffered a 30p a pint price increase )
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I’m not sure what a real life punk wants in 2026. Punk was about anarchy but most folk would prefer to have a government thay can blame for everything.
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I’ve less idea than you Martin, and with not having seen him on town centre streets for quite a while assume he has retired from his council job.
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I hadn’t realised that tartare sauce originated in France. Your blog is a mine of information.
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I know!
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There are many good things about France, which lead me to forgive their occasional mistake.
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6 days and I can’t think of one. Perhap’s Lana’s Franc is French ?
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Doesn’t Belgium have better beer, chocolates and hares than France ?
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The scampi side used to be my 87 year old friends favourite deal and at the time around £2.99 he worked out it was far cheaper than having them with chips which was also on the menu ( and healthier).
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Yes, I remember £2.99 scampi, Tony. But even at just over a fiver they’re not bad value as quite chunky.
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