March 2026. Wallington. South London.
Another week, another American troubador*, another chance to makes inroads into London GBG, another chance to marvel at the capital’s integrated transport system as I whizz from St Pancras around Croydon towards Wallington, a mile’s walk from Carshalton and The Hope.
It’s not an essential visit, even by my meagre standards, but it does have a giant Pricebusters, and giant Defibrillator,
and a giant kerb that prevents you jaywalking across to the Wetherspoons.
I’d ticked the Whispering Moon many moons ago, but my Beddington pub isn’t open for a while and I know you like these revisits to London heritage pubs.
This is a wonderful Spoons, seemingly unchanged since conversion from a cinema 34 years ago.
Tiny (downstairs loo) but with more nooks and crannies than a Sam Smiths pub, and packed at 2:55 on Wednesday, with minimal food trade.
On the table opposite, a cultural melting pot. Carribean, Indian and South Londoner with foot brace, young and old, man and woman, join together in a celebration of Spoons lager prices.
I have a pint of Pride (drinking well, NBSS 3.5) with my sticky Korean chicken bowl,
which I sense is becoming too regular a habit.
I could have hopped back on to that kerb and back on the train to Waddon, but where’s the fun in that when you can walk 20 minutes through featureless Wallington ?
Built-up residential South London in all its glory there.
“Plain, going on Proper. Smells like middle-age laundry” say my notes, and since writing notes while walking at 5km/h is tricky it must have been notable. Perhaps it’s the lavender for which Wallington was once known.
And then suddenly, from nowhere, London emerges majestically in the distance.
*actually “trobairitz”
retiredmartin 
My go to pub if I’m staying at my sister-in-laws in Wallington and can’t be bothered walking to the Hope. Handy if getting a late train back from London as well.
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It’s very good, a boozer rather than a dining pub of a Spoons.
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For a minute I thought your current Chicagoan was serenading you.
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Don’t they all do that?
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The only one I know can’t carry a tune.
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I’ve sung lots of songs at karaoke. I think I’m pretty good. I select songs I know (or have). But my selection goes off the cliff at 1997. A way I describe it is (translated to British English), karaoke is essentially ‘Rated 15’ exhibitionism.
I carry around a six-page stapled sheet denoting which ones I’ve done. There is also a section of songs I want to sing, but have not.
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Can you sing “I’ve Never Been To Me“, Steve ? We’re very keen on that here.
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I’d heard that “North London Forever” was your current song of choice.
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That is Croydon appearing majestically in the distance.
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Is it really ?!
I knew I was facing east so it shold be Croydon, but I never knew it had so many skyscrapers. It’s the Parliament Hill of the South.
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Yes Croydon is a mini Manhattan.
Viewpoints around London often show a number of these as in addition to The City and Cary Wharf there are Vauxhall Stratford Battersea and in preparation White City and Ealing.
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Great looking former cinema. Have yet to try the Korean chicken dish at Spoonies. Next time.
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The grilled chicken option is healthier, but completely pointless.
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Only been to Wallington once. Back in the good old YTS days, there was a five-a-side soccer tournament there. We won it, although I didn’t play at all, which was for the best.
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Well, if I’d known that, I’d have looked for the blue plaque.
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