“Are you joining us for lunch ? Fabulous !”

November 2025. Iden Green. Kent.

Our hour of National Trust worthiness at Sissinghurst over by 11, we took the picturesque route through the Weald of Kent, all oast houses and Bloomsbury set country houses and refined dining.

On the way to Iden Green we pass Benenden, where Mrs RM once had to make a court appearance due to an incident involving her cake tin. Her cake, which resembled a ski slope, was given a conditional discharge.

The charge against the Woodcock is less serious,

but we abandoned our pre-pint walk,

having seen the “no muddy boots” sign.

Let’s NOT talk Christmas. Ever

NO ! I’m not wearing those blue slip-ons in a pub !

There’s two types of Kentish village pubs. The one with Old Boys at the bar with pints at lunchtime, and the one all set for lunch with a lone table for drinkers in front of the fire currently occupied by two young folk folding serviettes.

The Woodcock is heaving, which is great to see.

“Are you joining us for lunch ? Fabulous ! Come through, Mr Smithly-Jenkins, we’ll get you settled” the words you’ll hear. God grant that I am never “settled”.

“Mr & Mrs Retired Martin, no booking, quick pint and a half of Harveys, please”.

“Is that off ?” says Mrs RM, sticking her half pint under my nose. It’s really not, it’s just got half pint glass disease, cured by gradually pouring it into the pint glass. NBSS 3.5, drifting a bit at the end, but GBG quality.

We’re happy in the knowledge no-one’s after our seat,

and with a soundtrack of (more) Air Supply, this one almost a deep cut.

“I used to love Air Supply, before I was trendy”

“When did you become trendy, Mrs RM ?”

“When I met you”

And with that, Mrs RM follows me, into the Gents.

“The other door” shouts the landlady.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

28 thoughts on ““Are you joining us for lunch ? Fabulous !””

      4. ..even though Martin has shot our fox by editing your first post to say what you intended, rather than what it first said…

        Like

      6. “Editing Will saves Russ a job.”

        Too right! Thank goodness my dear departed mother edited her will, seeing as how I’m the executor.
        Oh wait, not the ‘will’ you meant. In that case, carry on.
        (and slow golf clap for the saving editing remark) 😇

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Blimey. I give the comments a quick lookie-loo and find out my name is now Scott?
        (ok, if you shifted some letters one back – S is now R; the two T’s are now S’s), and do some sort of adding/subtracting with the ‘c’ and ‘o’ to make it a ‘u’, it could work actually).

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  3. Glad to see that the Woodcock is still trading, as it must be 30 years + since my previous visit. Given its isolated position, it’s hardly surprising that it has morphed into a gastro-pub.

    As for those bubbles, a dirty glass is probably the cause, as is the case with the Harvey’s glass, featured in your post on Lydd, (Dolphin).

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      2. The Harvey’s glasses at the Rosendale in Dulwich are sort of – just – OK. the beer in them seems a bit variable on the other hand, but yes, in general that’s a good spot, Martin. They should take to etching, rather than painting, like Brains have done, perhaps?

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  4. Just as looking at a Christmas tree while listening to Bing Crosby singing White Christmas is a different experience from doing so while enduring Coldplay, so is drinking a given beer from one glass as compared with from a different one.

    I’d have been a bit sceptical of your claim if not for having done just that yesterday. A pint of Brains bitter from a ten-year-old nonix was quite other than one in the modern etched straight glass, but they were both very good.

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  5. “all oast houses and Bloomsbury set country houses and refined dining.

    I was going to call a typo on ‘oast houses’ but then decided to look it up; makes sense seeing as how Kent is the home of Goldings and whatnot, eh?

    “Her cake, which resembled a ski slope, was given a conditional discharge.”

    Blimey. There’s a story there for sure!

    “The charge against the Woodcock is less serious,”

    Am I right in assuming that woodcocks were the reason that prophylactics were invented?
    (splinters dear boy)

    “having seen the “no muddy boots” sign.”

    Ah, totally get that. It’s that time of year that we leave our boots out on our front porch after going for a walk in the woods.
    (but couldn’t they provide cheap slip on thingies like they do in some hospitals?)

    “Let’s NOT talk Christmas. Ever”

    Your blog, your rules. But I will talk about it outside of here.

    “NO ! I’m not wearing those blue slip-ons in a pub !”

    LOL! I’m psychic! 😁

    “There’s two types of Kentish village pubs.”

    Can it really be called a pub if it’s geared around the food crowd?

    “God grant that I am never “settled”.”

    Agreed. The only thing that should be ‘settled’ is the pint.

    “It’s really not, it’s just got half pint glass disease, cured by gradually pouring it into the pint glass. NBSS 3.5, drifting a bit at the end, but GBG quality.”

    Which is why the Belgians have a glass for every beer!
    (and I drink my teeny 12oz cans out of a 16oz glass)

    “We’re happy in the knowledge no-one’s after our seat,”

    (looks down at pic)
    Blimey! What happened to the Harvey’s glass?

    “and with a soundtrack of (more) Air Supply, this one almost a deep cut.”

    (looks down at pic)
    Crickey! That one on the right looks remarkably like Elton!

    ““When did you become trendy, Mrs RM ?”

    “When I met you””

    Oooh, she’s a keeper.

    ““The other door” shouts the landlady.”

    But, needs her eyesight checked? 😉😇

    Cheers

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