September 2025. Sheffield.
From the Itchy Pig (2) I took a walk through Sheffield’s genteel southern suburbs,
along Psalter Lane with its solid housing, “Do not take the bowel” sign and “help yourself” apples.
The next pub on the half marathon is opposite the Salvation Army citadel, a Thornbridge flagship of sorts.
Packed at evenings and Sunday lunch, deserted on Monday afternoon, but the barman can do his paperwork on the laptop while it’s quiet so why not open ?
It had a year in the Guide recently, has the full range including the gimmicky Union beer, and some impressive staff.
But The Union shows the signs of what we beer Smelliers call “lack of turnover”, so a 2.5.
“Reserved for Lauren from 7”. But you guessed that.
There’s an advert for edgy drama,
but the birdwatching is confined to outside, where after an embarrassing search for the art, I finally find it above the heads of the ladies sharing a bottle of wine outside.
“They’re eating the ducks !”.
retiredmartin 
Ducks? Not me! I’m vegan.
But, yeah. Lack of turnover would be a good reason for not opening on Monday afternoons. On the other hand, if you’re not open you won’t sell anything. And there’s all that paperwork still to do.
Isn’t “please do not take the bowel” something you’d say to a colorectal surgeon just before the anaesthesia takes a grip on you? Pleasingly, your next photo shows that the apples have not been placed in a bowel after all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yet.
LikeLike
Are the bowel and the 🍎 connected. Is Russ a doctor?
LikeLike
I’m an honourary doctor of love, but I only do ‘in-house’ calls, in my own home. 🥰
LikeLike
Seriously Will, you’ve reminded me of 23 years ago early morning in an Exeter hospital and a nurse saying she was about to give me my injection. Due to leave that morning, I asked why and was told before my operation that day. On checking my name she then realised her mistake and that I had a kidney stone, not bowel cancer like the other five men in that ward. Alertness means that my bowel is still intact !
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s been quite a season for fruit https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/food/every-fker-with-a-garden-trying-to-offload-their-crap-apples-20250926260701
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the article at the top.
LikeLike
On apples, a tree sprung up from nowhere in our garden this year, despite our having spent zero minutes tending to it for years.
From our window I overheard the neighbours saying “Ooh, shall we take some of their nice apples” as the branches overhang, and somehow forgot to shout “Take the f****** apples”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“September 2025. Sheffield.”
(looks at pic above)
Judging by that girl’s eyes in the poster, I’d say she’d been bird watching in the movie ‘The Birds’ by Hitchcock.
“along Psalter Lane with its solid housing, “Do not take the bowel” sign and “help yourself” apples.”
In the pic above, are the ‘free’ plums and apples those colourful, um, balls hanging on the tree? Or is that the ‘bowel’ one is not supposed to take?
(definitely pre-cancerous polyps by the look of them) 😉
(looks at pic below)
You hid that from the pic above!
“a Thornbridge flagship of sorts.”
The Stags Head? Makes sense in a way. If you’re hosting a stag, you would want them to have their own loo, so as not to annoy the regular customers. 😎
“deserted on Monday afternoon, but the barman can do his paperwork on the laptop while it’s quiet so why not open ?”
Fair point. If the barman is going to get paid for doing paperwork, may as well stay open and home for some sales as well.
“and some impressive staff.”
With a knob on the end?
(sorry, wrong staff – was thinking of that ditty about the Wizard’s Ball or some such in Ballinor or Kerrymuir)
“what we beer Smelliers call “lack of turnover””
Flatter than roadkill?
““Reserved for Lauren from 7”. But you guessed that.”
We have a taproom in town that seats maybe two dozen at most, and they take reservations like that. I understand the reasoning but it takes the fun out of spontaneity.
(although it has yoga, Pilates, and spin cycles in the back, so maybe that clientele likes to ensure a table for a drink afterwards, in order to put the calories back on they just took off?) 😊
“There’s an advert for edgy drama,”
Isn’t that just the Blair Witch Project with a more diverse cast?
“I finally find it above the heads of the ladies sharing a bottle of wine outside.”
I initially read ‘bottle’ as ‘bowel’. 😎
““They’re eating the ducks !”.”
Or, since the fowl are flying overhead, they meant to say “they’re eating the… duck!”
(as in verb, not noun, if you get my drift)
Cheers
LikeLike
I haven’t had any of their Union stuff yet, but apart from Jaipur I tend to find Thornbridge’s cask ales (Lord Marples, White Swan etc) well-made but characterless.
LikeLike