A 33 MINUTE WAIT FOR A PINT IN SPOONS

September 2024. Grantham.

Anyone who actually reads this will realise I’ve no problem with Spoons or Tim Martin.

Like McDonalds or Maidenhead Conservative Club they fulfill a function, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

And last Saturday in Grantham as the clock ticked past 9 it was Spoons or a kebab, all other chain options long closed for the night.

The Tollemache has dropped out of the GBG recently, but always seemed to have a good Old Boy cask trade, and Mrs RM was happy to overlook the statue of Maggie Thatcher Milk Snatcher outside.

But what a scruffy, shambles of a place it was, uncollected glasses and plates on every table.

I pounced on the only free high table near the bar, and queued.

And gave up. And ordered on the app at 21.17

The food came at 21.29.

The beer and Mrs RM’s huge wine didn’t.

All we saw was overworked staff bringing glasses to the collection point.

Still we had Lincolnshire perms and a mullet to admire

Mrs RM, normally the one to urge me to be patient, sought out my inner Alpha Male and said “find out where my wine is”.

Three staff went looking, one saying “I think it’s on the end of the bar being poured”. It wasn’t.

At 21:37 the plates were collected.

At 21:50 the drinks came.

Is 33 minutes the longest wait ever for a pint ?

Did we care?

Watching pub life unfold (mainly a chaotic 50th birthday) in a Lincolnshire market town is priceless.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

17 thoughts on “A 33 MINUTE WAIT FOR A PINT IN SPOONS”

  1. Martin, The “Wetherspoon Haters” on Discourse would have you believe that that is typical of the ( lack of ) service in Tim’s venues but I know that not to be so.

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  2. I actually suspected Wethers would be quieter at 9pm than 9am*. I do like that gradual coming-to-life creep a JDW has between 9 and 11.

    * I wake early so by 9am it’s second breakfast time and 9pm soundly snoozing.

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  3. There was only one “proper” till open at ASDA, Tunbridge Wells, yesterday morning, although there were plenty of wretched self-service tills available. (The latter aren’t much use if your shopping includes “age-restricted” products.)

    It turns out, the store was affected by “staff shortages.” Perhaps the Grantham Spoons was suffering from the same problem?

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    1. Paul,
      ‘The whole world and his dog’ was in Chester yesterday for the races and yet I got served promptly in all six pubs, even in a Craft Union which was one of few open before 11.30am. The Wainwright wasn’t drinking at its best as it had a cloudiness reminiscent of the Lake District.
      I learnt of a “no dogs” policy in the Boot but don’t know if Humphrey applies that to all of his pubs.

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      2. Yes, the Albion has scarcely changed in forty years and it was a long overdue visit for my last pint of the day at 2.55pm.
        With a preference for proper pubs only two of mine coincided with where other members of the Stafford branch got to. I’m sure they didn’t really expect me to get in “The Cavern of The Curious Gnome”, especially in a town where Humphrey offers his OBB.

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  5. ps. We don’t often shop at ASDA, ask me why next time you see me, but Mrs PBT’s claims their meat is first class.

    Proof of the pudding will be when I get back from Fuggles and get stuck in to some slow-cooked roast pork!

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    1. Paul,
      If it’s “slow cooked” you want come for a Sunday carvery in Stafford’s Bird in Hand where licensee Terry gets up during the night to put the meat in the oven.

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