retiredmartin

Only seventeen (7 Teen),

GBG entries in the mysterious Argyll & the Isles section of the Guide, which must include ALL the cask pubs (surely), so picking half a dozen must be a doddle, no ?

I love those Instagram reels where American students are asked to name 3 countries outside America and start with “Paris, Canada, erm..“, but I guarantee you that only 1 in 100 Londoners could point to even an approximate location for Argyll, though I did work with an Indian guy called Dinesh, lovely chap, who’d been on holiday on Colonsay.

OK, if you’re over 60 you’ll have grown up hoping Macca would be left on Mull forever after keeping punk singles off Number 1 for the whole of 1977.

And if you’re under 30 then you grew up with Balamory aka Tobermory, whose colourful town on Mull has no current Guide entries, but one that ought to be.

Balamory – The Mishnish

The Mishnish is the tourist pub, really playing up that CBeebies heritage,

with outrageous pricing and chintz,

but, more importantly, groups of drunk young women reliving their childhood with drunken renditions of “What’s the story morning glory in Tobermory“. And a classic fount.

Or is it font ?

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For nearly 30 years I looked at this untouched chapter of my new GBG and wondered about a pub that was out to get me.

Kilmartin – The Kilmartin Hotel

When I finally made it there in 2021, on an epic road trip with Mrs RM, it seemed less mysterious,

just a well-run roadside allrounder with good Jarl and no threats to my person. Note the COVID perspex screens, a Heritage feature.

A tiny place, really, with a few ladies-who-lunch having that argument that us pub tickers most love;

“NO CAROL, you’re NOT paying for it !”

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Bar a trip to Bute in 2007 where I failed to visit the Black Bull, I’d left the Argyll chapter till the end of my quest, missing out wonders like the view back over the Clyde from Innellan.

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Innellan – The Osborne

I’ve picked the Osborne, not just because it was my last Argyll tick, or because of those views from the campervan,

but because it felt like the heart of a village of 1,000 souls waiting forlornly for a bus to Dunoon that would never come.

A real commitment to cask rarely seen this side of Scotland, and that pint of St Austell was as good as you’d get in St Austell.

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The drive round Argyll 3 years ago (thanks Mrs RM) was as gorgeous as it gets, though Mrs RM’s tasters convinced her that Scottish real ale was without redemption.

But the pubs were all in picturesque locations,

Clachan Seil – Tigh-an-Truish

and the Tigh-an-Truish had a classic sign,

and a haven for local drinkers (none on the Jarl).

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And to round off my five, it’s a town that back in 2021 was the most expensive place on earth (£221 for a Premier Inn).

Oban – Oban Inn

This brings back memories of the COVID restrictions of that summer, refused entry twice because the pub was too full but finally given a low seat almost behind the bar.

But a great drinkers pub, probably my pick in the whole chapter.

But I’ve still never been to the Black Bull on Bute. Perhaps you have ?