IT’S TAMWORTH, NOT COTON. GET OVER IT.

February 2024. “Coton”. Tamworth.

The Good Beer Guide is a delight, but it has a quaint view of geographic labelling. Not just the decision to divide the country into regions, but the way some pubs get stuck under their hamlets within towns, like the Fox in Coton.

Sticking the Fox under “Coton” rather than Lichfield, a 25 minute stroll from the CAMRA Pub of the Year to the edge of town, is bizarre.

In fact, type “Coton” into the What Pub search engine (go on, do it now

and that only Coton in Staffs is a hamlet just west of Paul Mudge’s county town.

There’s barely a mention of this Coton on Wiki, except for planning permissions for a few houses near the sewage works and Tony Coton, a City legend (all former City players apart from Steve McManamanaman are legends), who was actually born in Tamworth.

But I’m here, wondering what the Fox will bring to the Guide, apart from those cabinets where you pick up and return mail order clothes.

Ordering and then returning clothes is Mrs RM’s favourite leisure activity, apart from telling me off for taking her in Preston pubs.

With generous opening hours, I’d assumed it was a new build Marston’s pub.

Close…

Yes, it’s clearly an Ember, the chain that dare not speak its name as Simon and I seem to turn up to their pubs and be surprised we’ve been Embered.

Except it’s not, any longer anyway. It’s a “Classic Inn”, one of Stonegate’s many sub-brands. See also : the Farmhouse in Great Grimsby.

Well, still looks like an Ember to me, though even they would struggle to flog a Doom Bar for £4.35.

As it’s an Ember (it isn’t) I go with the house beer from Black Sheep, a cool, crisp, NBSS 3.5. I didn’t see another pint of cask pulled the 45 minutes I was there, which makes the case for the £3 pint, I think.

It’s ticking over on Sunday lunch, with family and friends trade, the sort of cheery dining pub the GBG needs.

I trip over a high table on my way to my high table of choice to peruse the menu, where a nice lady tells me not to rush as Ian, Sue and Barrie haven’t reserved their table until 5:30pm.

It’s currently 12:30 so I tell her I won’t worry too much.

Tamworth was in 2013 the most overweight town in the UK with a 30.7% obesity rate.[43], and to honour that stat I order the burger, which is a triumph of content over presentation.

By which I mean it’s actually tasty but looks rubbish.

There’s two other things of note. Firstly, the orchestral version of the Rick Astley classic is garbage;

and secondly, Tamworth (or Coton, if you must) folk have the most Brummie accents I’ve ever heard, charming but incomprehensible.

“Have you got mayo please ?” “Oy ave, yeah”

“Wud yow loike oice with that ?

Of course, no-one with a Fen Edge accent shud eva make fun of anyone else’s accent.

18 thoughts on “IT’S TAMWORTH, NOT COTON. GET OVER IT.

    1. Don’t Ember Inns sell the Black Sheep as Ember Ale? They did the last time I was in one, but time seems to pass so rapidly these days that it could have been pre-Covid or even pre-Brexit, or possibly this time last week for all I know.

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      1. I believe they do although I’ve seen Black Sheep in its own right alongside Ember Ale. Been a long time since I was in an Ember though.

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  1. That Old Peculier looks a bargain at only 30p a pint more than the Doom. Or is it £4.65 for 2/3rds? I guess we’ll never know.

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      1. I had Taylors Landlord for £3.55 in Nuneaton eight days ago.
        That was at Stonegate’s ex-Tim’s Silk Mill.
        And half an hour before my worst pub of the year.

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  2. “Not Coton”. On Pubs Galore it’s designated Coton Green. Would that have made you any happier? It’s still 25 minutes from the Tamworth Tap, so probably not.

    The pub’s Facebook page calls it the Fox Inn Hopwas, which is on the other side of the river, which means you’d never have found it at all.

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  3. “and that only Coton in Staffs is a hamlet just west of Paul Mudge’s county town”
    No, I think Staffordshire might boast more Cotons than any other county and I’ve known three of them.
    The one listed on WhatPub for Staffordshire has the Navigation Inn which I went to every working day for ten years before Royal Mail started paying me a pension.
    I have lived in Hopton and Coton parish since 1992, our daughter having been born in the hospital on Coton Hill just across the A518.
    There was a Wheatsheaf at Coton between Stone and Uttoxeter. Years ago the Red Lion, Green Man and Wheatsheaf along the B5027 each had Draught Bass served differently, gravity, handpump and electric – not many people remember that now.

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      1. Ah yes, because the Morris Man ( fully booked last evening ) is quite sensibly under “Stafford” and the Wheatsheaf closed ages ago.

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