THE ACLE STRAIGHTS

January 2024. Acle.

I spent a night in an Acle Travelodge.

I really did.

£29, and Alfie, Baa Baa and Charlie get a decent night’s sleep,

while I get a new GBG tick and a chance to explore the main settlement (pop. 2,732) between Norwich and Great Yarmouth, on the road to the Broads.

Nice little town map with service station marked, even if the pubs aren’t.

Acle has little to commend it, but it does provide a Gateway to Nowhere;

My 10 minute walk takes me past a play park, WWII pillar box and modern housing just off the A47 to the roadhouse Hermitage. Arriving by foot, finding you way in is your first challenge.

It’s 6pm on Sunday in January. Food service has ended and only the smell of boiled cabbage (or is it wet dog ?) and the sweary blokes remain.

I’m the odd one out amongst the little groups who pop in and out at regular intervals for fags breaks, and there’s an audible gasp as I ask what real ale they have as I can’t see any pumps.

The landlord points to a blackboard and fetches me a Green Jack Little Green Man (1) from a mysterious back room.

Cool and tasty, possibly from the barrel; I’d have stayed for a second if I’d have known the other village pub would be so disappointing.

It’s a Proper Pub. “Cum On Feel The Noize” gives way to the Killers “Human“, and the lad sings “Are we hooooman, or are we wan****“. “I’m NOT a pervert !” says a girl, apropos of nothing.

The Hermitage is the hive of local life, in sharp contrast to the “town” centre,

where the Parish Council notes record transport issues,

and the King’s Head has been refurbished to become a steak house.

I’m sorry, I should have warned you about Norfolk humour.

Nothing on handpump, and the Young’s Stout (in 2 colours) is also off,

so I have a half of Blue Moon while I’m waiting for Full River to cook my tea,

The public bar has more dogs than hooooomans, but I quite enjoy the Blue Moon, my first for decades.

And, despite the lack of prawn crackers that’s consistent with the meanness of spirit in Norfolk, I rated the Crispy Beef and Singapore Rice a NCTSS 4, and if I ever stay in that Acle Travelodge again I shall definitely head back there.

See ? Scrupulously fair, me.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

15 thoughts on “THE ACLE STRAIGHTS”

  1. Ah, the Acle straight. We once got on a bus going the wrong way out of Great Yarmouth (some would dispute there is a wrong way) and on trying to get off, the driver refused saying ‘you’ll have to wait until after the Acle straight’ now, as if I knew what that meant, being a person who has got on the wrong bus.

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    1. I once got on a bus in a West Yorkshire village with “Leeds” written on the front and bought a ticket to Leeds. The driver then said “But I don’t know what to charge you”. When I asked why he said “No one’s ever asked for one from here before”

      It took about three hours to do the thirteen miles, but I still like buses, especially London ones.

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      1. 3 hours ! Could have made it down to Leeds Castle in Kent ?

        The bus journey from Pensnett near Dudley to the south of Wolverhampton, a trip of about 3 miles as the crow flies, took 50 minutes. It was pouring down or I’d have walked.

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      2. Yes, it was a local bus for local people that went round every housing estate and village. It stopped in Cleckheaton for the driver to eat his sandwiches, after which a different one got on. The thirteen miles was only as the crow flies, and by a long way.

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      5. But the number 1 was only four minutes from Upper Gornal to Sedgley yesterday lunchtime and they’re timetabled every eight minutes.

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      6. I’ve had that too Paul, when a tiny bit of the world in which our Dreamselves live somehow apparently breaks through into this one…

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      7. What are you guys on? I take a couple of days away in the Lake District and suddenly you’re all on god-knows-what. It’s like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. (Full disclaimer: I read the book but didn’t inhale.)

        Am I still in time for my share or have you used the whole stash?

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      11. Mrs Mudge was delighted with the £2 cheese and onion cob I brought her back from the Beacon Hotel last Friday afternoon, one of the best presents I’ve given her in 32 years of marriage.

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      13. “I had a cob in the micro” reminds me that I think it might only be in the Midlands that “had a cob on” means to be annoyed.

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