retiredmartin

Mrs RM and I met, lived and worked in Hertfordshire for over a decade so you’d expect me to have a little affection for the place.

Not so, though it’s a county with some very good rural boozers, none of which feature on this list for the simple reason I haven’t been to them for 20 odd years. So feel free to add Preston, Allens Green, Sandridge, Wareside etc etc to this list.

Starting with the town where we got married (£500 all in, including reception for 30 in a Thai cafe).

Hitchin – Coopers Arms

Not the obvious pick, that’d be the Half Moon, but I reckon the Coopers is gorgeously located up a dead end street among a row of Hitchin’s best houses,

and there just isn’t enough love for McMullens these days (see: also Arkells, Wadworth).

The Coopers has rarely graced the Guide, perhaps that cask breather is to blame,

“The AK was cool, creamy and just as I vaguely remembered from 1990, coincidentally the same year as most of the Cooper’s soundtrack (“Wicked Game“). Our two brave Old Boy heroes discussed colds, asthma and Covid lockdown“.

Heronsgate – Land of Liberty, Peace and Plenty

I had to put the Liberty in, even though it’s 10 years since I last stopped for a half, a Scotch egg and a wee (not in the same glass).

Actually my normal “comfort break” coming back from the South-West is a siding just off Junction 17 of the M25, a junction whose road to the Liberty is the only unclassified road off a motorway in the UK. And that’s the sort of detail you come here for.

Heronsgate is an old Chartist settlement, but the real fact you need is that, (judging by the blue rectangles below)

there’s more swimming pools per head of population than anywhere in Greater Watford.

But the pub, one of the venerable CAMRA award winners for decades, is anything but posh.

And those pork pies alone are worth your visit.

St. Albans – Robin Hood

You have to visit St Albans, and there’s at least six great pubs here, and some old ruins, and cake.

The Robin Hood gets the nod because of its unfussiness, and the quality of the Harvey’s and the best pickled egg choice (one is plenty, often more than enough).

This is where a group of ne’er do wells were escorted round his home town by Mr Protz in 2018, one of my favourites days pubbing.

The delight on Roger’s face was due to his having secured an unburnt issue of Ullage, I believe.

Welham Green – Social Club

I feel sorry for the bit of East Hertfordshire above the M25, with Potters Bar, Welham Green and Brookmans Park having only the odd Spoons to show for its GBG entry.

So the North Mymms Social Club was a delightful Guide debutant in 2021,bringing to our attention the Art Deco memorial hall,

and a pint secured after a thorough examination of my CAMRA credentials secured entry and cheap beer. Getting entry to a UK members club is one of the great skills that pub men learn in the Conservatoire of Life.

“What a feast ! Cool, foamy 6X (NBSS 3.5+), “Cheese Crunch” and cheese and onion crisps, and a soundtrack of the Golden Oldies variety. Carole King, Four Tops, Kangaroo Air Force Ventilator…“

“Dee, would you put cricket on, please ?” asks the chap opposite, bored of the Olympics repeats.

“Bernadette, put the pool from Welham Green on, please ?” ask the chap playing pool. It takes me a second to twig.

And to round of the five, another controversial but highly personal selection.

Letchworth Garden City – Three Magnets

Hertfordshire has some famously edgy Spoons, the ones where everyone is called Dave and on their second pint of Carling at 09:23.

The Three Magnet seemed to have not had a penny spent on it since its opening just after we left the Garden City 30 years ago, when we decided to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary there and the police were called (coincidence I think).

Less “leery” on my visit in 2020, though James thought it was terrible (he was busy failing driving tests next door), but sometimes the very worst pubs are the one we love the most.

Ain’t love strange ?