December 2023. Birmingham.
Only four new Guide entries in West Midlands; on a whim I thought I’d do them all in an afternoon before we ticked over into 2024.
Four spread-out entries requiring the expert planning skills of a man who’s completed the GBG.
Instead, I just hopped on the first train at Sheffield and winged it.
No, not THAT train. That’s the train to hell, the Sheff-Manc route. And that’s not the most cramped I’ve seen it.
Sheff Cross Country down to Bristol isn’t quite so bad, and you’re at New Street in just over the hour,
where you’ll then get lost for half an hour trying to get out to buy a little bit of card that allows you to use all the West Midlands transport for £7.80.
It’s match day at Villa Park and Molineux, but the suburban trains are virtually empty, so I get a seat with charging socket and view of Spaghetti Junction on the way to Chester Road.
There really should be a micropub underneath Spaghetti Junction called something really witty like “The Spaghetti Junction Tap”.
I assumed the Boldmere Tap was one of the never-ending micros like the Ale Hub places, and spent an age scouring the master spreadsheet to see if it was there under a Chester Road, Wylde Green or Sutton Coldfield heading. Us tickers love it when a pub gets moved about from heading to heading each year.
But no, it IS new, and a Joules newbie at that. Joy for all but Stafford Paul, perhaps.
But what of Boldmere ?
Some attractive but crumbling houses,
a boxing club for mad dogs,
and a brutalist tin shed.
I couldn’t tell these northern Brum suburbs apart in an identity parade, and I often think of that as my job.
But the Boldmere is definitely Proper Pub not micro,
whatever Paul might think of the authenticity of the furnishings.
£3.50 your pint of Pale, and it IS all pints now,
a good pint that’s tasty rather than cellar cool (NBSS 3).
Odd little snug to the rear,
pleasant dining area to the front.
Being village locals pub rather than town boozer it seems more lively than a Joules in, say, Codsall or Shrewsbury, and the banter is relentlessly cheery, and centred on Cornettos and cupcakes.
“Would you pay five pounds to whip your husband ?” was a particular highlight (Spoiler : Yes).
But blimey, the accents. I could hardly understand a word, and I thought the vowels would all be flattened out by the time you reached Royal Sutton Coldfield.
The mood only dips when someone accidentally (I hope) puts on Mumford & Sons, but then recovers slightly with the next track.
But then Woke Retired Martin remembered. Oh, grief, this is 2023, you can’t sing THAT!
I drank up and beat a path back to the station.
retiredmartin 
Husbands should be charging to be whipped?
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Some do – so I’m told.
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Just don’t ask, Dave. It may have been lost in translation.
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“whatever Paul might think of the authenticity of the furnishings”
They do the windows better than the other fittings.
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Whenever I go in a pub my first thought is “What would Paul and Simon (BRAPA) make of this ?
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“and it IS all pints now”
I never knew you did New Years Resolutions but well done,
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Well, perhaps not all pints on 8 pub crawls in Wem but you know what I mean.
Halves in Scotland was pretty much essential as the beer rarely warranted a pint, but since completing the Guide 16 months ago it’s been 90% pints unless I shared one with Mrs RM.
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A great pub and one I’ve been too! Wayne Elcock’s boxing shop is also worth a visit!
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But are the dogs mad, or just a little insane?
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Definitely insane!
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Some time ago I shared a flat with a mate in Boldmere and the Boldmere Tap (it was the Boldmere Oak back then) was a regular of ours. The main reason we used to go was that we didn’t have a washing machine and the launderette was over the road from the pub so we used to lug our washing down in black bin liners, have a couple of pints while our washing was being done, pop over the road to put it in the drier pop back to the pub for another pint, collect our washing, order a Chinese from the take away (also opposite the pub) have another pint, pick up the Chinese then home four pints to the good with an evening meal and clean washing. Who says blokes can’t multi task?!!
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Well that was truly inspirational Mark, but hopefully now indoors the wife takes the washing to the launderette to the pub for you while you’re in the pub, right ?
(joking)
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