QUEUEING IN TONBRIDGE SPOONS

September 2023. Tonbridge.

Three competing priorities at the moment; elderly family, cross-checking the new GBG, and keeping the blog up-to-date. I’m sure there’s other things to do like the garden but they can wait. So excuse the brevity of these posts, though I guess with Angela Rippon on Strictly Antique Bake-off you’ve got better things to do anyway.

Our brief hour of respite from in-law drama took us into Tonbridge on Tuesday night,

past the town’s modernist masterpiece on the roundabout,

and into its masterpiece of pub design.

Well, it may be a triumph of pub design, but Spoons haven’t mastered queueing, especially for us folk who LOVE real ale and want to use our CAMRA discount vouchers to support it.

I approached the left hand side of the bar to see the pumps Tonbridge beers mostly, (one at £1.49 that would presumably have come below the quid with a voucher). and was suddenly aware that the row of a dozen or so people to my right weren’t standing at the bar.

They were queueing from the right-hand side of the bar to get served at a central point. Sadly my photo is a minute too late to capture this in its full glory.

But it was clear to the folk at the bar I’d pushed in, and in Tonbridge that’s a capital offence.

I asked the barperson whether she preferred us to queue or stand at the bar, but the question seemed lost in translation and she just said Spoons policy was against queueing, which will come as a surprise to folk in Bath and Warminster where I’ve seen those theme park style barriers installed.

“Come as a Guest, Leave as a Friend” says the slogan on the wall, a slogan normally reserved for really naff country pubs. The really noticeable thing about the Humphrey Bean is the breadth of visitor it gets; youngsters, Asian families, old codgers, uncategorisable folk like Mrs RM…

Sadly, Paul Bailey couldn’t join us in Spoons, I know he’s a big fan. In his honour we ate 5200 calories worth of salted caramel fudge brownie (it took a while, we misread table 9 as 6), shared a pint of Abbot (superb, 3.5) and I unwisely ordered a can of Cellar Head, purely on the basis we’d seen one of their vans on the A21 that afternoon.

Subliminal advertising works.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

5 thoughts on “QUEUEING IN TONBRIDGE SPOONS”

  1. Based on what I’ve been reading I thought all English pubs were moving towards card only and application based ordering with table service. Isn’t that what people are clamoring for? Queueing is for Americans who love to wait in line.

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    1. The youngsters may well be clamouring for such things Dave, but some of us prefer old-fashioned cash.

      App based, table ordering can be handy though, for those dining alone, especially if you don’t want to lose your seat, or have something valuable with you (coat or bag etc), that you don’t want to leave whilst you visit the bar.

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      2. In a well run pub I do like the traditional way of English ordering. You meet people and can chat easily. It works well in those places and set a great tone. I have to admit that a line makes more sense to me in a large place like Spoons. I do find the reaction to queuing interesting on the blogs. A very clear cultural touchpoint.

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      3. I don’t mind a queue, but it’s very messy with people standing by your table while you’re eating (see blogs from Norwich and Hove) and unnecessary when the bar is long and empty.

        And I’m happy to order on the app. But yes, I love chatting to people in pubs. It’s why I go to pubs.

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