retiredmartin

August 2023. Billingshurst.

You’re right to be jealous of me (and Mrs RM, especially Mrs RM). A night in a dogging site (they walk your dogs there) in Godalming followed by a night in a shopping arcade car park in Billingshurst, BOTH of them with county-concluding GBG ticks.

Yes, you too could fly into Gatwick, visit Horsham’s many attractions (whatever they are) and stay the night in a charming Sussex town for £3. Assuming you’d bought a campervan from our dealer just off the A254 on the way.

Our stop carried some peril. Search for Sites warned of a vigilant parking attendant, “You’ll get a fine as easy as breathing“, and Google was a horror show;

It seems that the parking attendant ticketed you while you were attempting to buy your ticket. leaving you to to dispute the charge late.

The message from locals and visitors alike was “DON’T park here“. But this is Retired Martin. I explored a Panamanian ghetto and Mugabe’s presidential palace despite locals waving furiously “Go back !”. A parking lot in Billingshurst isn’t scaring me, though the number of threatening APCOA red signs entering Jenger’s Mead is truly terrifying.

I gave Mrs RM CLEAR instructions as I hovered alongside the ticket machine.

“Jump out, buy a £3 ticket, here’s £3 in coins, jump back in the van. I’ll watch out for the attendant. GO. GO !!”.

She failed. “It won’t accept the coins !“. I had to park up myself and do it myself.

We had a flaming row in the middle of a Sussex shopping precinct. About a £3 parking ticket. And subsequently missed the next train to Bognor Regis.

Yes, Billingshurst is the Gateway to Bognor, of “Bugger Bognor” fame.

Not many shoppers in a town obsessed with shopping precincts, but pleasant enough,

and with the huge bonus of two (2) Chinese takeaways, a curry place and a pizza shop at the station.

It felt like the Gidea Hill of the South. Which sounds better than Gateway to Bognor.

The Railway Inn promised Doom Bar but didn’t open till 3, so Mrs RM entertained me by telling off a group of sweary young lads for dropping litter on the platform. They looked terrified, and immediately complied, as would you.