FORK HANDLES

August 2023. Petworth.

Well, Greater Petworth, anyway.

The Welldiggers is on the exciting road out towards our room for the night, a car park in Billingshurst, from whence we will complete the GBG for Sussex. It’s almost exhilarating, though not quite Rousay levels.

Nice looking country pub, 8/10 for the literal sign.

It’s not known if well diggers actually smoked pipes as they worked, but judging by the photos of locals on the wall I’d guess it’s highly likely.

With names like Georgie and Jackie and Alfie and Jimmie Puttick you’d imagine a rustic old pub for Old Boys, rather than the Habitat-on-speed reality.

And as for those “hand pumps”.

Yes, it’s Butcombe going all out to beat Brunning & Price at their own game (or is it Hall & Woodhouse ?).

A half of Original and a small diet coke cost £5.30. That would buy you a pint of Pedigree in Stafford Paul land with £1.60 30p change.

But, in truth, it was worth it for the views over to (checks notes) the middle of nowhere.

You’re certainly paying for the cushions and sheepskin. Some folk like cushions and sheepskin.

The beer ? “OK” said Mrs RM. I thought it was a tad better than OK (3+),

but you’ll know how I’m a BBB bore while Mrs RM loves her craft.

NB Our American readers will know that legally no Briton is allowed to miss an opportunity to refer to the fork handles gag, as it is vital to the sake of the “special relationship” they believe their sense of humour is superior to ours.

And, perhaps, it is.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

14 thoughts on “FORK HANDLES”

    1. Yes, a sign in the old house style of Watney, a very rare survivor of the “melted ice cream” font that was so very different from the font Eric Gill did for them twenty years earlier.

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  2. £5.30 would have got me a pint and a half of lovely Draught Bass and 5p change in Atherstone’s Black Horse today. That’s if I drank halves.
    .
    They’d be better off with four candles for when there’s a power cut, like there was in Mancetter earlier today.

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  3. Mrs. E and I drove through Petworth a few weeks ago.

    Nestling in Green Nowhere it very much was.

    Pity we didn’t stop off.

    Who knows what we’d have found?

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  4. Those handles are ludicrous.
    I honestly fear for Butcombe if they’ve expanded so far as to get a tied house in Sussex. I hope they don’t do a Smiles. For years (since 1978) they just did the one beer, Butcombe Bitter, and concentrated on getting it right, which it usually was.

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    1. Ah yes Bill, I remember Smiles. They were doing fine until they tried expanding – too fast and too widely spread, and then suddenly, there’s a huge hole in their finances.

      I’ve a feeling that Young’s purchased the company, in the end – not that it did them any good. ☹️

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      1. Paul,
        Yes, and the Highbury Vaults was one of Smiles’s first pubs.
        I was there in May and it looked to be selling more St Austell than Youngs.

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      2. The Highbury Vaults was one of the first pubs I ever went in with Bristol friends after Mrs RM converted me to real ale after our marriage. It was a great pub. Smiles ales regularly popped up on guest beer lists into the early 2000s, bit like Archers, but never seemed to have any strong advocates.

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      4. Exactly that, classic example of what happens when the accountants take over. Massive over-expansion, contract the brewing out leading to disastrous loss of quality, eventual ruin. Smiles went from being a beer you’d recommend to anyone to swill that you couldn’t even give away. Young’s bought the pubs but not the brewery.

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      5. Brains had a bad batch of Bitter a few days ago. Every one of their pubs that we visited had to return several barrels.

        I suppose that with cask, tasting it before distribution might not reveal latent problems to emerge later. It was truly rank though.

        Glad to see that it’s come good again.

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      6. Martin,
        That display of the five different pumpclips for the one beer was still in the front right room last May but most customers go straight on into the main part of the pub.
        .
        Etu,
        Your local pubs are doing well if they shift several barrels a week.

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      7. Hi Paul, the Halfway in Pontcanna claimed seven casks returned after breaching and sampling.

        Yes, they’re generally busy and shift plenty.

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