retiredmartin

April 2023.

In my dotage, I imagine I’ll re-read my own blog and reminisce about the magic night when I slept in my campervan in Oswaldtwistle (pronounced Os-twit).

Oswaldtwistle is the mysterious land between Blackburn and Accrington best known for the eponymous Mills visited by coachloads of gentlefolks on the lookout for fragrant candles and tea cakes.

The new GBG entry for Blackburn is half an hour walk from Ozzy, as no-one calls it, and I had no idea where it was. I’d assumed the Knuzden Tap was a microbrewery named after Chas. Knuzden, Esq, but it turns out to be a tiny suburb on the edge of Blackburn about which Wiki can tell you nowt, though the inventor of the Spinning Jenny apparently lived nearby.

Now, micropubs can be wonderful things for bring communities together and promoting local breweries, but fair to say they won’t be gracing any guides to our heritage.

There’s some very subtle differences between Ye Olde Original Kent micro and the modern suburban Lancashire micro. In Kent you get Old Boys drinking almost exclusively cask/flavoured cider on high tables around the shop conversion.

Here in Blackburn you get a real social mix (including a dad and young lad on his laptop) drinking well, anything, in something much more comfortable.

It doesn’t look like a cask place.

but local Hopstar is a good bet,

and the welcome to a rare visitor is warm and genuine.

“Weather’s lovely innit ?”.

And indeed it is. I’m tempted to tell her the sun always shines on Retired Martin, but she may think it’s an obscure A-ha B-Side and let it go. For some reason, we briefly talk about security cameras. She’s lovely.

The Hopstar starts a solid NBSS 3 and creeps up to 3.5. The sun does that to beer (FACT !).

Lacings never lie.

Next door the Cooking Pot is about to close, and I pick the last thing in the heated cabinet.

I’ve no idea what the leftovers are, and the lass has no idea how to price it, so we agree £2.50 is about right.

It’s the best £2.50 I’ll spend all month.