On the 6 hour journey back from the Highlands we stopped in a layby in a business park just off the M73 so that Mrs RM could speak to a French IT bod while I made coffee on the campervan stove. I know you come here for the pointless detail.

Any chance I could walk from that blue dot to an east Glasgow GBG pub ?

Well, no. These were the closest Guide entries.

The first 5 of those, in fact all the suburban Glasgow entries till you reach the Merchant City, are Spoons. No wonder Scottish CAMRA loves Tim Martin.

Life looks rather different in Sheffield. These are the five closest cask pubs to Retired Martin Towers.

Two Guide entries, one backstreet pub owned by a local brewery, a cheery looking community pub, and the Queen’s Ground on the walk to Hillsborough Morrisons.

One of the few traditional pubs near the Wednesday ground, “Home Fans Only” sign on the door, and gorgeous Wards windows


It’s immaculate. But, just re-opened after a change of management, it’s far too quiet on a Tuesday night, the snooker room sadly unused.

Still, a very cheery welcome from the two (2) Old Boys on Madri, and the barperson, and a malty pint of Bradfield Farmers costs £3.10.

That’s three pounds ten. Plus a quid for the Pipers. It’s a night out, with the Wombats, Chilli Peppers and Stereophonics on the jukebox.

Great bench seating, too. But would I stay for a second pint ?

Put Bowie on, will ya ?” shouts Old Boy One to the barmaid.

Cue rummaging. “Whaddaya want ?”

I’ll leave it in your capable hands

Anything but Laughing Gnome” I shout, even though it’s Bowie’s only good song.

And that’s me decided to stay for a second pint.

Were you thirsty !!” says Old Boy Two, which suggests I need to pace my drinking.

Anyway, “the rest can go to Hell”.

Suddenly, Bowie made sense.


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