I know how much you lot enjoy it when Simon travels 7 hours to find a pub closed despite being promised it would be open.
Truth told, this year has seen fewer epic fails than usual, despite the complete absence of opening hours in the Guide.
I guess we’ve had to work harder, comparing Facebook posts with websites and drone images collected by the Russians.
It didn’t actually matter that the Black Bull in Donington was closed, I’d ticked it years ago and just fancied one of those pies that Fenland pubs do so well.
“Always Open” it says. I see that a lot on Google, and often contemplate knocking on their window at 7am and demanding a half of Doom Bar.
“We are open” says the Bateman board out front.
Facebook says, well nothing. No opening hours at all. In my experience Fen pubs either open all the time or never.
Anyway, it was closed, as was Donington itself, bar 2 locals staring intently at me.
I cut my losses with a discounted cheese and onion sandwich and cheese and onion Max crisps from the Co-op, and resisted the tractor porn.
I know my American readers love these pictures of unheralded England as much as I love photos of Louisiana linedances. Enjoy.
Yes, it’s the home of Matthew Flinders, whoever he is.
Of course, I’m now desperate to go back when it’s open, if it ever is.