Regular readers will know that I am the most positive person in the world, having somehow survived 28 years of marriage and the finale to the 2011-12 Premier League season.
But you may rightly assume I’m slightly miffed by the announcement of the new tiers today. Even though, as requested, I got to see them before Matt Hancock announced them to Parliament. That’s what being part of CAMRA’s Privilege Club gets you.
I’ll leave the outrage to the professional bloggers, but it was hilarious to see Royal Tunbridge Wells lumped in with Sheppey in Tier 3 because of an outbreak at a Sheerness Prison. Not that my in-laws were going to a pub anyway, but it ruins my plan to buy Paul Bailey a Christmas beer in Tonbridge.
Anyway, a tragedy for pubs, not least my local wet-led boozer which I guess will have some difficult decisions to make in the next few days.
And what does it mean for the tickers ?
Well, the first challenge will be finding out if pubs in Tiers 1 and 2 can be bothered to open at all. Hours and hours of scouring Facebook, Twitter and WhatPub in the hope of quick updates.
And if they do open in Tier 2, can I realistically eat six full meals a day to get my ticks up in December ?
So I’m focused on Cornwall, where I’ve just ten to do.
Let’s just pray that Sharps have been able to supply the nations favourite Locale to those ten.