Enough of all these attractive looking boozers,” you say “give us a South London suburban Spoons in a shopping precinct”.


Scientists can date this to c.1999 by the glass

Pub experts will see past the great swathes of suburbia in the map above and identify The Hope in Carshalton, the Black Lion in Surbiton, and of course the Carling hit in Chessington World of Adventures.

There’s a nice bit to Cheam, close to Nonsuch Park, but North Cheam is definitely a place Northerners will only be visiting for the pub.

Or to see the world famous “North Cheam eyesore“, which appears to have attained ACV status.

north cheam

Locals describe it in glowing terms “You could mistake that whole area for a war torn country” writes one proud resident. These people have never been to Maidenhead.

My job is to make it look good.

View from Spoons loos
Unmistakeable suburban London Spoons

Almost uniquely, no locals outside smoking outside to ruin my photo.

Inside, a quieter than average community local lacking the Smooth brigade and the family diners.

No queueing necessary here

Sadly, some old bloke from Hampton photobombed my carefully framed shot of pub life.

Out the way, Henry

Hoorah for community Spoons, promoting pantomime, protest and the Dons.

Are we in Merton ?  Why aren’t Sutton’s fixtures up there ?

It’s taken an eternity for the Nonsuch to make the Guide.  Why this year, I wonder…

Used up all my vouchers last month, didn’t I ?
NO ! to the pumpclip

As I said last time, this week I was going for the microbrews that people tell me are the cutting edge of brewing and put the mega-swill to shame.

I’m not buying it.  Or to be more precise, the Spoons ale drinkers aren’t buying it, sticking to the Doom Bar and Abbot on the other bar. And of course, 1,572 pints last week (top) equates to an average of two an hour in a nine pump pub (did that in my head).

The Tillingbourne was possibly decently kept, but tasted flat and dull. NO-ONE drinking it would be a convert to the real ale cause.

As suggested by Paul, I left it undrunk.  The sooner flat whites are recognised as real ale, the better.


But that was South-West London done. The east beckoned, and that never disappoints.


10 thoughts on “NO NONSENSE NONSUCH

  1. If the slouching lager drinker, in the quilted jacket leans back any more, he’ll disappear under that posing table.

    Wasn’t there some connection between Henry VIII and Nonsuch Park? Can’t remember what it is though.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First photograph. Odd that the 1573 is written with a crossed seven, but not with a hooded one. I thought that the whole point of crossing your sevens was to differentiate them from hooded ones.

    Liked by 1 person

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