retiredmartin

How exciting. A first trip to Melton Mowbray since 2016, when some flies dropped from the ceiling into Mrs RM’s beer in a new micropub while Matt attended the opening of a new skate park. The flies did better than the micro, which has still not graced the GBG.

But there is a new entry, inevitably a BeerHeadz, the “craft beer for crusties” craze that’s sweeping the east Midlands, or whatever you call this lot;

I have no idea what’s in Collingham

For a small fee Tom Irvin will construct a route that allows you to do all 5 by public transport.

If you visit Melton, tip up on Tuesday for the spectacle of the cattle and farmers markets, a rare chance to see pashminas and bobble hats in the wild.

Boxes

That shot sums up Melton. Simon thought it was “common“, and an hour in the eco-Spoons will convince you he’s right. But he’s wrong. And he’s right.

In the market, the hunt rubs up against the hunt saboteur.

BRAPA camouflage for trip to Melton

A group of well-dressed tourists, probably from Oakham, were getting a guided tour that concluded with beer sampling at this beautiful 17th century market alehouse.

The Round Corner Tap has the sort of hours we tickers love, and the pungent smell of cow. I’m saving it for 2020.

It’s market day in town, too, which means septuagenarians stocking up on staples like batteries, biscuits and Haynes manuals.

Battery life

All very Boston, down to the flower sellers blocking the ways to the pubs.

Danger ahead

Melton is compact, attractive and useful, as per the East Midlands Small Town Law of 1977.

Street art

And it has pies.

Not to scale

The Dickinson & Morris shop sold me the pork pie slice and, inexplicably, the Eccles cakes which I matched beautifully with Stilton for Mrs RM’s breakfast the next morning. Or would have, if she hadn’t eaten them already.

If you want the full Melton culinary experience, come here.

No craft beer

54a King St (wacky !) add a tiny bit of salad to your pie meal so it feels healthy.

Always drink before eating, so start off in the BeerHeadz across the road. I bet you walk past three times.

“Pub”

I’m the only customer, with OAPs getting their lunchtime pints of craft (JS Smooth) in the Spoons, but I’m used to that by now. At least it makes the trip to the loo easy.

LadieZ

You know what it looks like by now.

Shiny

The chap is really friendly, but he’s just stepped into the breach and is sorting out the lines. The first two beers are undrinkable, the third tastes fine. Replaced with grace, so I’ll only score the third on WhatPub (NBSS 2.5).

It’s something from Team Toxic in Liverpool, but you guessed that.

JUST LOOK AT THE SEATING

This in the same week that Simon gets to do Blossoms and the Portwood Railway for the first time. It’s just not fair.