“Please do not Jump on the Bean Bags” – Misery in the Mendips

It took me a long time to get to the Mendips. About 44.4444 years, if memory serves.

But I’ve been making up for that lapse of late, using Wincanton and Shepton Mallet as my cheap bases for a concerted attack on the Somerset GBG. (Spoiler: The beer isn’t very good).

Yes, I know you’ll say things like “But, Tucker’s Grave” and “But, Hunter’s Lodge“, but for every timeless Somerset ale house there’s a tortured gastro, as the Wurzels sang at the Freight Rover Area Final in 2002*

And so to tiny Litton.

Yes. This is the first thing you see. What’s going on here?

An attempt to draw in the Emilys as well as the Elizabeths, that’s what.

There’s a lot of these expensively refurbished upmarket diners around Wookey (it’s a place, Russ). Perhaps they ward off the evil Brunning & Pricey. It may work.

They’d ward off me if I wasn’t compelled to enter, look gloomily at the soulless seating,

and wonder why Somerset is so woeful for Bass, Portishead apart.

Looks ok

After the couple in front of me complete their interrogation of the Specials board (it’s breast of crab, not Ghost Town), I get my go.

I ask for a recommendation, get asked what sort of beer I like, we do the little dance that ends up with the Bristol Beer Factory.

It’s just not very fresh. NBSS 2 at a push. Nowhere near returnable, so in the flowers it goes, one day to spout a path to the clouds like in the magic beanstalk.

Still, a tick’s a tick.

*Humour me. It’s 1.59am and I’m waiting for the first train home from Gatwick.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

24 thoughts on ““Please do not Jump on the Bean Bags” – Misery in the Mendips”

      1. At the Paul Weller outdoor show the other night, folding chairs and stools were not allowed. The security staff, after patting us all down, also relieved people of any blankets that they might have brought, in case they sat on those too, apparently. Some had brought them to keep warm, poor loves, wearing only thin summer clothes.

        The British know how to treat the public, don’t they?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. God that pub looks depressing. And what’s the point of the bean bags if you can’t jump on them?

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  2. At least it has bench seating (albeit with scatter cushions). Looks more like a chain restaurant, tbh.

    And the Black Horse at Clapton-in-Gordano isn’t even in the Guide! 😦

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      3. Yes, but Martin was implying that good pubs in Somerset were often absent, while dreary dining establishments were included.

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      4. Yes, lovely location. And I know which sort of pub my Mum would prefer for Sunday lunch!

        I was just thinking of Clapton in Gordano when I read an interview you did about beer blogging last year.

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  4. Had BRAPA visited before you and made use of the bean bags?

    Or have you been there previously and used the bean bags due to a lack of pot plants, rendering them beer logged and smelling of something unpalatable?

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  5. ““Please do not Jump on the Bean Bags””

    Of course my (somewhat) convoluted brain initially read that as “please do not jump on Mr. Bean’s Bags”. 🙂

    “And so to tiny Litton.”

    Chew Stoke and Chew Magna, with a couple of Wookeys thrown in. Was this some sort of subliminal Star Wars advert for tobacco or chew toys for dogs?

    “What’s going on here?”

    High tea?

    “around Wookey (it’s a place, Russ)”

    See my Star Wars comment above. 🙂

    “look gloomily at the soulless seating,”

    I notice all of the tables are set for eating.

    “Looks ok”

    Potholer golden ale? Surely that should be a porter or a stout?

    “it’s breast of crab”

    Do crabs have breasts?

    “one day to spout a path to the clouds like in the magic beanstalk”

    Or, at the very least, start glowing in some identifiable way to indicate to those years from now that Martin had been here (a bit like Kilroy in WWII). 😉

    “*Humour me. It’s 1.59am and I’m waiting for the first train home from Gatwick.”

    Was your plane late? Over here I still think they avoid landings between midnight and 6am (but don’t quote me on that).

    Cheers

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      1. OK that makes more sense.

        Had similar over here with buses. Bus from Portland a few years back dropped us off at the bus station in Vancouver around 3am* (buses are a lot quieter than planes – heh). Bus station alas did not open till 6am. Luckily there is a McDonald’s nearby.

        Cheers

        * – and apparently the daily bus from Portland gets in at this time every night!

        Oh, and while I may be cheap, I shall never again travel from Portland to back home. 😉

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      2. You see, I was quite happy to use the free airport WiFi for 4 hours, do 3 blog posts, have a Doom Bar and catch London on a glorious dawn.

        The rest of my family were less impressed 🙄

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      3. “The rest of my family were less impressed 🙄”

        I agree with you. At least nowadays.

        Back then I had no smart phone (gasp!). 🙂

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  6. Isn’t “Please do not jump on the bean bags” a challenge to think of other things to do with or to the bean bags ?

    ““But, Hunter’s Lodge“, but for every timeless Somerset ale house there’s a tortured gastro” reminds me that a few years ago Mrs TSM was very pleased with her meal in Hunter’s Lodge describing it, I think, as something like “proper food”.

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