90% of this Beer Guide blogging lark is just a good title*.  They’re generally far too clever for you lot, so here’s an easy one today.  I may have used it in a certain West Sussex town already, but you can’t plagiarise yourself.

I rose very early on Friday morning, to the sound of “Wake Up to Money” on Radio 5 and Chinese cartons all over the place.  It’s low-level debauchery, but it’s my debauchery.

This, I kid you not, was the sunrise from my room.


The Royal Hotel doesn’t do breakfast, in fact you’re locked in on your own overnight until the cleaner gets there, so I had to pop to Spoons for my Eggs Benedict (posh eggs on toast if you’re a commoner).

Just time to admire the bar before I left,

The Royal

and remember to check my room for power cables, one of which I’ll always leave in any B&B.

The drizzle started just as I left Spoons, but I resolved to take some photos anyway.

Suffragette exhibition
Morecambe sporting highlights

That means more to Matthew Lawrenson to me.

On to Heysham, an odd place you wouldn’t leave your car overnight but with a certain upmarket tourism around the coast and the two historic chapels that got the village into the Rough Guide (ahead of Burton-upon-Trent).


Middle classes with dogs only sign
You can see Barrow from here

A lovely bit of coast, only spoilt by having to say “Good Morning” to everyone every two minutes.

Nothing can spoil the view from St Patricks Chapel.

St Patricks 11th Century stone graves

For five points, name the Brummie LP cover taken here.

Still, I had an hour to kill before catching up with Pubmeister and Maltmeister for the ferry, an hour in the rain.  So I killed half that time inThwaites flagship the Royal Hotel, one of the smartest conversions I’ve seen outside Brunning & Price.

Proper coffee AND Black Pepper & Ginseng Handwash.  And polite society fussing about where to sit.  Winner.

Mark of a Posh Pub

I then caught up with Duncan and t’other Martin, two legends of GBG ticking, who decided a quick half in the Old Hall was possible.


Proper Pub, Proper Hats

It’s a Proper Pub; old, large and slightly scruffy, too small for Brunning & Price but wasted as a haven for Professional Drinker.  The beer range stretched to the “new” Tetley from Leeds Brewery, and was scarily good.  I bet it won’t get in the Guide, unless they move it brick-by-brick to Motherwell.

A good start for the boys.

*The other 15% is being good at spreadsheets so you can keep up to date with ticking progress.


22 thoughts on “HEYSHAM BOYS

  1. Five posts in and you still haven’t mentioned the VERY large elephant in the room at Heysham.
    You know you want to …


  2. “90% of this Beer Guide blogging lark is just a good title*”

    Or, as Life said (I’m paraphrasing); ‘just alliterate and you’re all set mate!’. 🙂


    I see the tide’s still out (or did it come in and go out again?).

    “and remember to check my room for power cables,”

    I usually do two complete tours of the room before leaving. 🙂

    “Suffragette exhibition”

    I’m sure, since you’re on the coast, they’re merely trying out that new fad of ocean (saline) water to cure nasal congestion. 😉

    “before catching up with Pubmeister and Maltmeister”

    Apologies but for some reason that made me think of Heat Miser and Snow Miser from the old Christmas cartoon.

    “Mark of a Posh Pub”

    Why is it also in French on the hand wash? Is that an EU thing or just to show how posh it is?

    “who decided a quick half in the Old Hall was possible.”

    I see the banner hanging from the wall says ‘car boot sale’. Is that so you can buy one and go around clamping vehicles? 😉

    “*The other 15% is being good at spreadsheets so you can keep up to date with ticking progress.”

    And not knowing how to use a spreadsheet for proper maths it would seem.*


    * I’m 105% sure of that!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. “Oh, does BeerMat get to be called Life now ?”

        He’s been called that on other blogs, and I’m leery of using someone’s name if they don’t use it themselves.

        But you correct in using BeerMat as his moniker. Must make a mental to remember that. 😏


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