Ah ! Ain’t he lovely ? Don’t answer that.
A great week ended with a chance meeting with the legend that is Si of BRAPA fame in the Newmarket hinterlands*.
Some people idolise cans of Cloudwater.
I’m rather partial to the sheer poetry of BRAPA posts, like this from his latest.
“The Plough continued to be as dead as dead can be. It was a bit like having a seat ticket for a Mumford & Sons concert, and then realising you’re sat next to Ray Wilkins, who offers you a breadstick. With no dip.”
Like Dickens, he’ll be revered long after a horrific accident outside a Kent micro pub dulls his powers.
What a massive privilege it was for me to drop everything and escort the great man around the pubs of outer Cambridgeshire last Saturday in my high-spec motor.
I must have been as excited as a small boy unwrapping a bundle of Steve Earl football programmes at Christmas, as I managed to direct Si to a pre-emptive tick on Newmarket High Street that had been boarded up since City last won a game (in 2014, it seems like). Then full steam ahead and back a century to Ashley in the heart of horse racing pashmina land.
With 20 minutes to kill (no 10am openers in Cambs) I reviewed his strategy for conquering Cambs, failing to tell him that half the details on WhatPub were wrong. And I’m supposed to be a Cambridgeshire expert.
At bang on noon Si burst into action. He seemed surprised I wasn’t going with him. He should have read my report on the Crown. A solid local, but a scary number of dogs. They were all back today.
I spent the next 27.5 minutes walking the bounds, praying for Si’s safe deliverance and assessing future micro pub sites.
I think Simon had the more exciting half-hour, though you’ll see in his report that was down more to dangerous drivers than exciting chatty locals.
I was more confident about his next tick, a classic rural Suffolk pub in Exning.
With some classic Suffolk parking.
For a moment I considered heading off to Mr Chips, or whatever it’s called, leaving Si to concentrate on his note-taking again.
But one look through the windows into the bustle of pubby humanity and I crumbled.
Though mainly I was joining Si in the pub, just in case they had Bass on.
They didn’t, but London Pride will do. As Simon so humorously notes, “it was drinking well“.
Now I know I just said the Crown was virtually a kennel, but ain’t this one cute…
Simon was quite taken with the pub, despite being confined to a high table by the hordes. It clearly wasn’t the thrilling Merseyside derby on the telly drawing them in, just the lure of a top quality village pub being a pub.
I can just sit in a pub like that and soak in the atmosphere; BRAPA has to have an argument, and so it was that “Pub menu theft man” gave Si his moment of contention.
Loads of stuff to treasure.
What happened after that, who knows. I presume all the stuff on his blog about Ely is made up. No-one could possibly have thought the Plough would be open.
*I have no idea what hinterlands are, but it’s a term we used a lot in the NHS. A bit like strategic partnerships.
retiredmartin 
Fogwell Flax.
It seems like only yesterday he won Search for a Star.
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How many prototype Retired Martins are on the loose? Do they have different allegiances, one to Bass, twenty three Doom Bar aficionados?
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There’s a Webster’s Yorkshire Bitter fan on the loose somewhere.
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How many Donnington lovers?
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Minus 37
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How did I miss the dog on stool pic, brilliant!
Nice to hear about the day from opposing perspective of a Cambs expert, I think Plough at Little Downham will haunt me til I get back and inside pub.
See you in May for more rural fun in the fens or whatever they call the SW of the county (fake Beds?)
Si
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Is that a BRAPA top Simon’s wearing? Surely the clothing range should be made available on his site, though admittedly I’d go for an orange scarf.
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All the major GBG tickers are to be issued with easily identifiable markings to help warn the locals/publicans. It’s a bit like letting people know you are a “care in the community” person.
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I might sell it on my site and pocket the profit.
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I understand that “it was drinking well“ is heard more often in the South than the Midlands or North, or maybe it’s just in pubs with London Pride.
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I know your region is flat, but towns like Ashley really look beautiful. Who needs hills and mountains when they have that view?
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It must be nice to be so easily pleased ! The area south of Newmarket has the Devils Dyke footpath and is the only hilly bit of our county.
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Hey, you’re the one who finds Walsall a top town. LOL.
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Walsall has curry 😉
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I’ve suddenly realised what that Cloudwater reminds me.
Carrot and coriander soup.
And I can’t stand that either.
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I’m a big fan of both now.
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I didn’t know that the Sinclair C5 remains alive and well on the roads of Cambridgeshire !
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Invented here 😉
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A tenuous claim to say the least !
But I now understand the RM interest in mobility scooters, a sort of poor man’s C5.
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“Ain’t he lovely ? ”
Where’s his bright orange scarf?
“retiredmartin prototype”
You need to get rid of the fuzzy dice, they’re blocking your view. 🙂
“failing to tell him that half the details on WhatPub were wrong. ”
Which he found out the hard way. 😉
“Undulations”
As long as it’s not followed by ululations!
“Bar flies”
Talk about a place going to the dogs!
“in the Newmarket hinterlands*.”
I think, technically, Newmarket would be considered the hinterland of Cambridge. 😉
Cheers
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I’m referring to Ashley and Exning, the hinterlands of Newmarket.
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Fair enough. 🙂
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Heh, I get to win one occasionally :-()
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“Heh, I get to win one occasionally :-()”
LOL
* – and what’s with the ‘heh’? (rolls eyes) 🙂
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Heh !
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Had a good laugh at your “Like Dickens, he’ll be revered long after” line. Me, I wouldn’t dare compare Simon to Charles Dickens, since I don’t read Dickens nearly so frequently.
Whenever you and Simon meet up face to face it puts me in mind of Lennon meeting McCartney– you know, if the two of them had skipped the whole forming a band thing and just went to a pub instead. 😉
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“since I don’t read Dickens nearly so frequently.”
(slow golf clap)
Well done sir! 🙂
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You remind me of a fifty year old joke –
Librarian “Do you like Dickens”
Library user “I don’t know. I’ve never been to one”
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I thought the Kipling version was better…
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You ever heard of the Rutles ? I’d be Barry Wom of the Rutles to Si’s Lennon.
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I would not let any dog sit on any pubs seating because they do no wipe their arses after going for a shit.
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