I’m delighted that regular commenter Mark Crilley is receiving recognition for his enthusiasm for proper pubs. Notably in the latest column from Roger Protz (here). Of particular interest is the news that Mark is planning a story whereby an America teenager on holiday in England sets out to sabotage BRAPA pub visits*
Mark is clearly someone who needs no advice about the particular joys of a “Proper Pub“; it looks as if he made one of the last trips to the legendary Macclesfield Castle on his most recent trip to the UK. Now there was a pub.
Mark will also know that necking a crate of Westons Vintage cider on a Newcastle metro isn’t the pinnacle of the suppers craft (but each to their own).

But let me give Mark some advice; resist that fourth pub in quick succession that seems a good idea at the time**.
On the way back from Newcastle Centre to our hotel at Kingston Park (somewhat akin to Barking with it’s multiple budget hotel options), I remembered I’d actually forgotten the family takeaway I’d be sent out for in the first place.

So I jumped off at Gosforth Regent Park and used the half hour between trains to head for Nice Noodles and grab a quick 2,376 calories worth of loveliness.
Except it wasn’t quick enough (to be fair, it was freshly cooked), and managed to miss my train by all of 11 seconds. You try running across snowy roads with a bag of noodles.
Then I needed the loo. You try finding a public loo near a station in 2018.
Enter, the Gosforth Hotel.

A GBG regular on upmarket Gosforth High Street, and as busy as you’d expect at 8pm on Friday. I note that Stonegate have added one of those craft keg backboards since my last visit, so perhaps craft really is taking over the mainstream pub.

Pleasingly the cask seemed to be winning the battle by some margin, particularly the local Anarchy Blonde. I’d still have gone for the Fyne if it had been Jarl, though.

This is just a pleasant community pub for all ages, free of condiment drama and gastro fuss. The nice folk even saved me and my bag of noodles the last table in the house, right by the door so I could make a quick getaway.

The sign to the Gents seemed to be taunting me.
Luckily I (just) made the next train, and miraculously our Singapore noodles were still lukewarm as I made it back. Nice Noodles are Top-Notch Nosh.
I could feel that 4th pint the next morning, though.
*Apologies for the spoiler, Mark.
**Unless it sells Draught Bass, of course.
The turned round pumpclip – I can’t really imagine it up there in the Northeast, but Moorhouse’s clips are kind of that shape ??
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They are; someone else suggested Mordue Workie Ticket. I shall never know.
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I’ve just image-searched a Moorhouse’s clip and they have a rounded bottom, (my memory is terrible). Workie Ticket seems the most likely given the location…
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Service beyond the call of duty there
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Quite like Anarchy beers, not to be confused with Alchemy who are pretty decent and also come from the part of Britain that the Romans never really got to grips with.
Workie Ticket is the sort of beer that all BBB brewers should be aiming for, essentially BB without the Boring prefix. IBB maybe? SBB? VNBB? Blighty by Northern Whisper is another excellent example.
I’ve started to liken BBB to cars, ordinary, everyday cars. Remember when Bass & Pedigree were in their hey day and people were driving around in Marinas, Allegros and the nascent Datsuns. You know the sort of car I mean, 0 to scrap heap in 3 years. Apparently some people still think they should be driving round in a Marina?
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Nothing wrong with Marinas – a perfectly decent, underrated car. My dad had a 1.3L in Harvest Gold when I was learning to drive.
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In their day they were … ok, 1800TC was prob the best? And weren’t nearly all BL cars of that time Harvest Gold? My old man had an Austin 1800 (land crab) in the same colour. Oh and we had a minivan in that colour too, I learned to drive in it, loved it, it would get anywhere provided you had a plentiful supply of WD40 to apply to the distributor cap & HT leads in damp weather. But you wouldn’t want to be driving round in one these days would you – that’s my point.
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The Metro Micro has a certain ring to it. It would have to reduce its opening hours somewhat.
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The 4th Pint is inadvisable because it’s the Siegfried Line between having a good drink and a full-on session.
Four will always lead on to six or seven whereas three is on the outer edges of being merry and still making your bedtime on a school night.
Or as the Bard of Bethnal Green Micky Flanagan has it the difference between being out and being out out.
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Thanks so much for the spotlight here, Martin. Never has a person who has done so little for actual pubs been showered with so much praise for his alleged devotion to them! But I never turn down attention and praise, even if I’ve done absolutely nothing to earn them.
I still have the written advice you kindly gave me, Martin, that will help me with my south-to-north trip across England; fingers crossed I will have the opportunity to make both the journey and the book a reality within the next few years. Meeting up with you and Simon along the way would be a delight, and at this point maybe secretly the real reason I’m making the trip in the first place. 😉
I must say that “Condiment Drama” sounds like an album name, and “Gastro Fuss” like a band.
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“Gastro Fuss” could only be Steely Dan of pretzel logic fame, and “Condiment Drama” is surely Supertramp 😉
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Well done Mark top work and good to see you getting recognition 👍
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I like the caveat unless it’s Draught Bass as clearly one can never have too much of a good thing 🍺I like the fact that upmarket Gosforth has a sid the sexist cartoon drawing on the wall! Only in the north east
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Draught Bass cures all known ills – FACT.
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Thank you Dr Taylor 😀
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“I remembered I’d actually forgotten the family takeaway I’d be sent out for in the first place.”
That goes a long way in explaining the ‘retired’ bit. 🙂
“Guess the beer that’s turned round”
Well, logically, they’re pumps are in alphabetical order. Since we have Fyne’s Avalanche on the left and Anarchy’s Blonde Star on the right it has to be Fyne’s seasonal Blizzard. 🙂
“I could feel that 4th pint the next morning, though.”
Not quite sure how to interpret that. (rolls eyes)
Cheers!
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