“I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo”

February 2026. Monte Carlo. Monaco.

Yes, yet another reference for Charlene’s classic, the Harlow in the lyrics sadly not the Essex town.

The campaign for her to headline Glastonbury starts here.

Dumping our bags at the Aparthotel on the French/Monaco border (Mrs RM is claiming it as a night in the principality), we set off to tick the little red cars representing the highlights. Interestingly, Mrs RM claimed no awareness of the F1 circuit but had picked cars (Turin – chocolates), rather than, say, Real Estate agents, or Princess Graces or playing cards.

There’s three (3) main parts to Monaco as far as I can see, a northern quarter (joke) to the east with shops, gardens, museum and a beach, the Casino and marina, and the Old Town (the star turn). Don’t expect hand pumps.

Your own view on the appeal of the high rise that leads from the hotels along that French border to the heart of town may vary to mine,

but the palm trees soften the feel,

and as the sun (finally) comes out it feels a surprisingly relaxed city.

“What do you remember from your 1985 visit ?” I ask.

Well, it’s the shopping centre, obviously.

We didn’t find the Greggs in the Metropole;

or any prices. At all.

As they say in Oldham, if you need to ask the price you can’t afford it.

I did briefly consider hiring a car for Mrs RM so that she could attempt the F1 hairpin bend at the Fairmont Hotel,

but sadly the McLaren was just outside our budget of 20 euros a day.

A budget which I sensed would also prove insufficient for a beer in the bars of the Place du Casino,

but at least the views were free.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

22 thoughts on ““I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo””

  1. I assume that it’s Jean Harlow, who was inwardly concentrated upon by a fictional Hubert, in his party piece of turning himself into a human sundial…

    I’ve not been to Monte Carlo since 1993, a fact – among so many – that doesn’t seem to trouble me any.

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      1. As long as it’s not Guy Burgess getting the plaque!

        I know the Charlene song well, but that’s the first time I’ve seen the video. Quite a stunner, if I’m allowed to say such things, in this day and age!

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  3. Hubert Rawlinson, Rawlinson End. Carries a trident, grows watercress in his ears, mourns his father: “He boiled roly-poly pudding in old socks. But it was the Brasso that got him in the end.” (Part 34: An Absence of Whelk)
    Etu will know.

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      3. He was actually Victor, known as Vic to his bandmates, but changed his name to Vivian to irk his military father, who dislikes sissies…or so he said.

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  4. “The campaign for her to headline Glastonbury starts here.”

    I think my mail-in ballot might be marked down as fraud, since I don’t live there. 😉

    “(Mrs RM is claiming it as a night in the principality),”

    Quite agree!

    “Interestingly, Mrs RM claimed no awareness of the F1 circuit but had picked cars (Turin – chocolates), rather than, say, Real Estate agents, or Princess Graces or playing cards.”

    Or a reasonable facsimile of the ‘man that broke the bank’?

    “Don’t expect hand pumps.”

    Not even when meeting someone. They do kisses on the cheeks instead.

    “and as the sun (finally) comes out it feels a surprisingly relaxed city.”

    The sun has a way of doing that.

    ““What do you remember from your 1985 visit ?” I ask.

    Well, it’s the shopping centre, obviously.”

    (slow golf clap) 😁

    “We didn’t find the Greggs in the Metropole;”

    (looks down)
    Blimey! That’s posh.

    “or any prices. At all.”

    Eek!

    “As they say in Oldham, if you need to ask the price you can’t afford it.”

    We have that saying over here as well.

    “I did briefly consider hiring a car for Mrs RM so that she could attempt the F1 hairpin bend at the Fairmont Hotel,”

    Get the full coverage insurance!

    “but sadly the McLaren was just outside our budget of 20 euros a day.”

    (looks down, faints)
    Oh and (slow golf clap)

    “A budget which I sensed would also prove insufficient for a beer in the bars of the Place du Casino,”‘

    Can’t argue with that.

    “but at least the views were free.”

    For now. 😏

    Cheers

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