retiredmartin

August 2024. Newmarket.

We’ve been down in Waterbeach most of August attending to my parents, but staying at Mum’s has stopped being an option due to a) the risk of Chung Hwa 5 nights a week, b) the risk 3 pints in The Sun 5 nights a week, c) lack of internet meaning Mrs RM can’t do her Instagram posts.

So, let’s see what’s our cheapest Guest House option scoring higher than “Disappointing” on Booking.com.

22 minutes east in Newmarket, near what used to be the “gritty” GBG Five Bells,

we find the “Pink House” for under £50. No idea why it’s called that.

A basement room, toilet up the stairs, no lock on the door, a bit “characterful”,

but the Wi-Fi works. And you don’t want to ask what the Premier Inn costs*.

We’d already had the trad Chung Hwa tea, and were a bit beered out, so our obligatory tour of Newmarket High Street will disappoint those of you wondering about a pub crawl in the home of horsey racing.

It’s also the home of one of the UK’s nicest blokes, and top pub tickers,

though Maltmeister Martin had wisely escaped the county ahead of our visit (we gave him 5 minutes notice).

But we caught his home town town in a good light on Wednesday night.

Still never been to the racing museum,

or the deserted White Hart,

and I’m sure this Turkish restaurant used to be a duff pub.

Only the Spoons in the Guide these days, a good place to see jockeys drinking Guinness.

Perhaps it’s the light, but the Waggon and Horses (once a Hogshead) looked the pick of the bunch.

It’s the clock that dominates the town though.

Perhaps I should have made Mrs RM nip in a Greene King pub, being so close to Bury and all,

but neither GK pub enticed us in, even the old one looking incongruous in the terrible modern shopping centre.

But if you’re gambling on a night of craft in Newmarket,

you’re backing the wrong horse.

*It’s £182 tomorrow night.