retiredmartin

February 2024. Teddington.

I severely underestimated Mrs RM. Having suggested she stayed on the train to Teddington while I rush to tick New Malden Spoons,

I rather forgot that even at our respective paces she’d be waiting at the Abercorn Arms quite a while if I took 20 minutes out to walk the half mile to the Watchtower and back and neck a pint.

And sure enough, just as I was leaning over a family of diners to admire the Diana Rigg picture, this pings up in my messages.

Mrs RM agreed she should order food and have a second pint.

15 minutes later I’d arrived at Teddington, suddenly desperate for the loo.

Why don’t trains have loos anymore ?

Come to that, why don’t suburban stations have loos any more ?

Now, I’m no BRAPA, let’s do the decent thing and spend a penny in a pub.

No, Retired Martin, you can’t use that bush.

Not quite a penny, closer to three quid a half of the Naked Ladies,

and you might wonder how I could resist Harvey’s and 6X but the Twickers is local, innit ?

Perfunctory service from staff who sensed I wasn’t joining the grown-up for a £30 tea, classy loos,

that white tiling that signifies “upmarket”,

and a half that tasted exactly* like you’d expect in a pub with no cask sales on Monday.

*OK, to be fair (NBSS 2.5/3). Get it in the Guide and give me a pre-emptive bonus