“Have you got the App ?”

You left us in the car park of the Spotted Dog in Penshurst, which I’ve captured here in black and white to show you what it looked like in its 1950s hey day before colour ruined things.

Parking at a pub had the massive advantage of an on-site loo.

But the real highlight here is the walk in the morning; watch her go !

Our lunchtime target was just underneath the M25. In fact, you could even add it to my unique “Pub Walks from Clacket Lane Services” series of blog posts.

Westerham Brewery have moved to a posh site just outside the village that housing a wine shop, deli and a little running stream that necessitated a further queue for the loo. I bought a loaf and small portion of cheese for later that somehow came to £76.18 (approx). Anyone who’s been to Faversham will know the feeling.

But my distress at the price of (smelly) cheese was as nought compared to the embarrassment of having to book a slot at Westerham Brewery.

No booking, no tick. I hate myself.

Outside seating, too, though the inside is pretty much the shop.

I like striding up to the bar, flashing my CAMRA Gold card for the 20p discounts, and licking the handpumps. But since you can’t do that, I’m not THAT bothered about using an app to order; it gives Mrs RM a chance to laugh at my IT skills.

But “Have you got the app ?” was the ONLY conversation I heard in the hour, and I could sense the gentlefolk wilting as they struggled to log on to WiFi, download the app and set up an account with card details to buy a half.

“I’d have been to the bar, drunk my half, and left by 12:02” I told Mrs RM, who sighed.

Joy of joys, plastic/not plastic glasses too, and over-chilled flat beers called Bulldog.

“This beer’s off !” said Mrs RM, who couldn’t work out how to take it back via app, and so decided instead shed enjoy mine and get me to drive.

A soundtrack of The Eagles and high-pitched Pashminas screeching. The mussels and chips and meatballs from the van were good though.

I loved it.

Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

14 thoughts on ““Have you got the App ?””

  1. We need pandemic ropey real ale advice.

    Due to the regularity real ale is ropey which by all accounts makes it worth it for the times it reaches mediocre or even the heights of “ok”, we need to know what to do.

    The CAMRAs want to to moan and kick up a fuss, you opt for plant potting it or even urinaling it and presumably swerving the grot hole as you might a dodgy fried chicken shop that’s given you the squits.

    But what to do about it in the restrictions? Is it just abandoned ?

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  3. Booking: I feel your pain. In Scotland, Beer Garden Day is Monday, but Lerwick’s only pub (OK, café bar) with a garden doesn’t do Mondays so I’m booked in for Tuesday for a pint or two of Staropramen in a howling gale and horizontal rain. I’m so excited.

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    1. Congratulations on deciding to visit the only county in the UK with no real ale. (Plenty of good beer in Orkney though)
      It’d be great to meet up with you and Mrs RM when you make it to Shetland. Would you be flying or getting the North Boat?

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    2. You might be a little early for Shetland then; if you can get cheapish transport, best bet for decent beer would be when the Simmer Dim bike rally is on (in the unlikely event it’s going ahead this year).
      Good luck in doing all 973 Orkney outlets in a day. Nice comfortable accommodation at Skara Brae.

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  5. “which I’ve captured here in black and white to show you what it looked like in its 1950s hey day before colour ruined things.”

    Things were so much easier when everything was either black or white. 😉

    “Parking at a pub had the massive advantage of an on-site loo.”

    I thought ‘no facilities’ meant no loo?

    “But the real highlight here is the walk in the morning; watch her go !”

    Like a flash!*

    * – and not the flash where one reveals themselves 🙂

    “have moved to a posh site just outside the village that housing a wine shop, deli ”

    Drop ‘that’ or change housing to houses?

    “and a little running stream that necessitated a further queue for the loo. ”

    (slow golf clap)

    “I bought a loaf and small portion of cheese for later that somehow came to £76.18 (approx). ”

    Blimey! Should’ve bought the whole cow!

    “But my distress at the price of (smelly) cheese was as nought compared to the embarrassment of having to book a slot at Westerham Brewery.”

    The barstards.

    “it gives Mrs RM a chance to laugh at my IT skills.”

    That’s a bit cruel. 😉

    “But “Have you got the app ?” was the ONLY conversation I heard in the hour,”

    Bit of a comedown after the last few places.

    “Joy of joys, plastic/not plastic glasses too, ”

    Is that a bit of a thing over there?

    ““This beer’s off !” said Mrs RM, who couldn’t work out how to take it back via app, and so decided instead shed enjoy mine and get me to drive.”

    (guffaw!) 🙂

    “The mussels and chips and meatballs from the van were good though.”

    Always try to end on a high note.

    “I loved it.”

    You old softie.*

    * – or is that because it gave you something to write about? 😉

    Cheers

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