“A TOWN CALLED MALICE” ON A TINNY SOMERSET HI-FI

Wiltshire has fallen.

So, onto Somerset, a key county in my quest to emulate the Pubmeister and Do The Guide. I’ve only recently made it past halfway, and beyond lies the terrors of Devon.

With flaky public transport and duff opening hours, every trip out here on the A303 justifies a couple of nights away. You need that long to guarantee a half dozen ticks and a Chinese takeaway with a 2 hygiene rating.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Wincanton. Of which more later.

Note my use of the “terrain” in Google maps to illustrate Stourhead on the right.

45 minutes walk brings you to the White Horse at South Cheriton, the archetypal roadside pub.

Anyone unfortunate enough to live in Norfolk will recognise this pub type from the A140 between Norwich and Diss.

Enough traffic to ruin the exterior, not enough to provide week-long trade.

It doesn’t look open. “No Food” warns the handwritten sign.

The door gives to, but inside it’s pitch dark. Anyone who’s seen the 1987 classic “Sliced in South Somerset” will understand my apprehension.

Not a sound, either, but eventually I bumble to the pumps and find one bloke silent at the bar, and a wordless landlord.

“It’s only Tribute on” he says.

“Well, I’d better have the Tribute please”

And that was it.

No food. No lights. No exotic beers. No banter.

I sat and sipped a sad Tribute (2.5, at a push) and wondered what sad events might have led to this malaise.

Then he put on “A Town Called Malice” on a tinny 1982 Amstrad all-in-one HiFi, and started to sing along.

“You gotta cut down on beer or the kid’s new gear”

And suddenly it all made sense.

No, it didnt really.

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Published by retiredmartin

Retired NHS, doing long walks around UK and the world to record the great bits. Focused on Good Beer Guide pubs and live music.

16 thoughts on ““A TOWN CALLED MALICE” ON A TINNY SOMERSET HI-FI”

  1. “to illustrate Stourhead on the right.”

    You mean where it says ‘Stourton’?

    “Enough traffic to ruin the exterior, not enough to provide week-long trade.”

    Ugh.

    ““No Food” warns the handwritten sign.””

    Which will deter trade from passing traffic even further.

    “No food. No lights. No exotic beers. No banter.”

    No wonder… it’s doing poorly.

    “No, it didnt really.”

    Not off to a good start for your next pinkening. 😦

    Cheers

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  4. You still staying at the Brooklyn young Martin ?
    If you have time stroll to Nostrand Avenue and get the A to Spring Street.
    Another short stroll to the Ear Inn.
    I think you’d like it.
    If you do there”s another great bar a few doors up – can you pop in and ask if they still have the boxed Nike trainers I left in there in 1994 after getting mullahed on Maker’s Mark Presbyterians.
    Cheers.
    The Prof.

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  5. It’s getting more absurd. Bernie was writing about GBG selections wasn’t he? I had a cracking pint of 6X this week in a local pub that has consistent beer quality across its three hand pumps. I bet it’ll never get in the GBG because of it’s location and tied status.

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  6. “QUALITY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF” says the bar towel.
    “SORRY NO BEER UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE” might be an additional sign next year.

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  8. Martin, we drove along that very same stretch of the A140 last Sunday. There’s not as many pubs as I remember there being, and several of the better looking ones, have been turned into up-market eateries.

    As for the White Horse at South Cheriton, how on earth did it get into the guide?

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    1. The anonymous correspondent above was me, Martin. For some reason the system wouldn’t accept the post under my own ID.

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  9. I thought the White Horse at South Cheriton and its beer were good when we went there a couple of times before or after East Lambrook Manor but that was about twenty years ago and much can change on two decades.

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