A short break from Sussex while I attempted to finish irritable Wiltshire. You’ll already know how this one ends (here).
Just to be clear, travelling the country, staying in cheap hotels and visiting English pubs (with or without a Chinese takeaway at the end of the day) is an absolute joy.
But empty pubs and tired beer are getting a bit wearing. And this month has tested the patience. For the first time ever, I think I’ll have more pints than not that I don’t think should grace the Beer Guide in June. I’m not alone, just read BRAPA in Cornwall.
Wiltshire pushed me over the edge. And not just because I had to jump into the hedge to avoid the cyclists whizzing down to Hazeland Mill on their way to visit Jeremy Corbyn’s birthplace in Kington St Michael (possibly).
But the Dumb Post Inn was packed at noon on Saturday, and not just with gentlefolk from the caravan parks down the hill.
The pub sign is the best thing about it.
All you need to know about the Dumb Post is contained in the photos below;
Yes, homely style dining, with families aimlessly wandering around the pub waiting for the alpha male* to choose a table to sit at.
Then more folk turned up and they kissing started each others cheeks. IT’S NOT FRANCE ! Or perhaps it is, I lose track of GBG branch changes.
An Old Boy at the bar cheered me up slightly with an order of “Lasagne and chips, with mushy peas and cheesey garlic bread. I’ll push the boat out.” I sense he pushed the boat out every Saturday lunchtime.
And to be fair, not ALL the tables were set for dining.
At least, due to indecision and kissing, I got to the bar first, faced with a beer range so vast (more than one) that the barmaid needed to turn them round to identify the beer. You’ll have to work it out for yourself. I can’t remember which one it was.
Perhaps it was Tribute. Anyway, it was borderline undrinkable (NBSS 1.5). I left what you can see below.
For a Proper Pub in Calne, which is scarily close, I recommend the White Hart in town. I think you can avoid the sight of people kissing at lunchtime there.
Oh, and did I mention the handwash ? It’s Rhubarb and Pink Peppercorn you know.
More gastro fun to come.
*Sorry – it’s the heat
retiredmartin 
Any post that starts with the hand wash is a real sign of bad things to come.
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Saves you having to read it and add it to your next trip, Dave.
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How much of the beer quality issue is because many of your completed counties are the ones that are known for having the best beer quality? It seems like you are working through some of the outliers. I.E. the borders etc.
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That’s a good point. Wiltshire can be very good, but I think new entries tending toward gastropubs with beers on for show, of which more later.
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Any post that starts with the hand wash is a real sign of indoor toilets and mediocrity.
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Google maps shows they have a pool. You should have taken a dip.
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I’m not yet beach body ready, Dick.
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Not many of us are.
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I am beach body ready.
The only trouble is it’s the body of Boris Johnson.
I thang you.
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Please don’t.
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That’s not what Mrs RM says.
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As someone said on Twitter, “I’ve now got my summer body. It’s just like my winter body, only sweatier.”
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“Ooo, un-du-lations (sorry)”
I read ‘Great Bodnage Copse’ as ‘Great Bondage Corpse’ and all I could think of was the autoerotic asphyxiation gone bad. 😉
“Pointless fish”
He fits right in with the post(s) sign pointing nowhere then. 🙂
“SIT DOWN !!!”
I was going to ask, was it musical chairs? (to Aqualung or Africa I presume)
“It’s Rhubarb and Pink Peppercorn you know.”
Is Pink Peppercorn even a thing? (shudder)
Cheers
PS – “and the kissing started each others cheeks. ”
I think ‘they’ works better than ‘the’.
(I’m guessing their blatant sexuality got you all hot and bothered)
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It is hot here Russ, and I’mnot watching “Love Island” either. Cheers.
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I’m pretty sure “rhubarb and pink peppercorn” is a popular craft stout here in the States.
I have to commend you again on the coordination between the writing and the photos; I mean, you mention the barmaid turning the pump clip around, and then you’ve got a photo of her caught in the act!
Given what you’ve experienced, you may start to have quibbles with how the GBG is selecting pubs. Do you think there are flaws in the system?
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No, the GBG is beyond reproach Mark. To fault it would be like finding holes in the plot of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” or something.
Oh, the correlation between words and pictures happens because I look at photos and go “Oh yeah”. Surely you have similar tricks of the trade 😉
Do you think those handwashes are drinkable then, Mark ? They may taste better than the beer.
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Though it has about the right level of murkiness, even the handwash is wrong…
“It’s Rhubarb and Pink Peppercorn ….”
How can it possibly be blue??…
Specially for Russ….
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_peppercorn
Further to Mark’s comment it reminded me of Wild Beer’s Rhubarber craft beer (the name not the colour) – and though that beer was billed as a ‘rhubarb and custard’ beer – owing to the fact that it had rhubarb, vanilla and ginger in it – it just tasted of ginger.
I guess you didn’t taste the handwash to see if was a) craft beer and b) better than the Tribute
😉
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How do you know I didn’t taste the handwash ?
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You’re right..that was a wild assumption…
The colour reminds me of ‘Slush Puppies’ that my local fish and chip shop sells…
#IfItsBlueIt’sCraft….
🙂
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