MALDON MAGIC

So, here’s the answer to your estuary Essex Guess the Pub.

It’s………………

Tolleshunt D’arcy, named after Darcy Lapier (who ? – Ed), who famously shared a boyfriend (J-C VD) with Kylie, but is more famous for the White House Farm murders recently dramatized for Netflix. Quite why Netflix can’t dramatize something cuddly the meeting of the pub bloggers in the Fat Cat I’ll never know.

Down the road in Little Totham you’ve got double CAMRA Pub of the Year the Swan, while in the swirling metropolis that is Maldon you’ve got time travel to 1955 and animal apostrophe abuse.

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Our mystery pub is one of the estimable Grays estate, a pleasing mix of Sam Smiths and Craft Union with only slightly higher prices than both.

99.2% of the pictures on Trip Advisor are of puddings, which coincidentally are what occupy the minds of retired Essex folk 99.2% of the time (the other 0.8% is spent planning cruises).

Lovely little parlour room, with the beers you hope for in a Proper Pub but rarely see.

A Proper Pub, and proper names for the curry house (Ruby’s) and wine shop (Corky’s), just in case you forget you’re in Essex.

And if you want to get wedded in style, you can even hire your luxury campervan from the site of the 1985 White House Farm murders; what more romantic way to start married life ?

7 thoughts on “MALDON MAGIC

  1. Maldon unfortunately doesn’t qualify for my current Twitter poll on Britain’s Best Seaside Drinking Town. But a lovely waterfront, complete with Gray’s pub.

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  2. “So, here’s the answer to your estuary Essex Guess the Pub.

    It’s………………”

    Pfft. Even I got that!

    “but is more famous for the White House Farm murders recently dramatized for Netflix”

    Whoops. Got that one wrong. My Googling says Netflix is also showing the Essex Boys, about 3 drug dealers murdered in Rettendon in 1995.

    https://flixlist.co.uk/titles/60020461

    Pretty violent place Essex!

    “while in the swirling metropolis that is Maldon you’ve got time travel to 1955 and animal apostrophe abuse.”

    (goes for a lie down after reading that)

    “which coincidentally are what occupy the minds of retired Essex folk 99.2% of the time (the other 0.8% is spent planning cruises).”

    Blimey. What occupies their minds now since that can’t bloody do either one?
    (probably worrying about the thing that stops them from doing either of the above) 😉

    ” you can ever hire your luxury campervan”

    I think ‘ever’ should be ‘even’, even!

    “what more romantic way to start married life ?”

    Getting married, and spending the next 18 months living apart (like, 5,000km apart) until you finally convince the military to post you and your wife together, only to have said military, a few days later, post one of the happy couple to another base for a 3 month stint that was a five hour drive away by car?
    (that was me and the missus by the way) 🙂

    Cheers

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    1. Yes, Essex is unliked by some – the late John Peel used to live in Suffolk, but would drive many miles more to avoid it on his commute to and from London.

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      1. Who knows?

        Someone who claimed to have worked with him – and probably did – told me that once.

        So an “allegedly” is called for, yes.

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