SHRIMP SPOTTING IN A GILLINGHAM GENTS

What click bait today.

Shrimps, Badgers, Ferrets AND a Buffalo. BRAPA would have come up with a better title from that lot.

Gillingham” would have got the click from my Kent massif, too. Unfortunately it’s not THAT Gillingham (long overdue a new pub THERE).

This is the Gillingham of North Dorset (pop. 11,756), a few miles from Hovisland.

On the face of it, they’re very different places. Kent’s Gillingham is pronounced Gillingham while Dorset’s Gillingham is pronounced Gillingham.

The smaller version is actually scruffier than you’d think, despite the inevitable Waitrose.

The Buffalo, a rare GBG newbie here, scares me with the signs for an Italian restaurant, and unexpected early closing times I only just beat on Sunday.

Proper Pub though, beautifully situated down a little lane like nearly all the best pubs (there’s no logic to that but it’s true).

Lads and Lasses on the benches in the sun, the locals from the Wyke suburb on the wine, a devastatingly attractive stranger caught in profile in the mirror.

The young lad greeted me not with the now customary “Whoa, stand back plague carrier !” but a cheery welcome and smile as I recited my “One beer is plenty, sometimes more than enough” mantra. With all the instructions I actually forgot to pay him the £1.80.

Only one table free, near the loo, but I wasn’t hanging around and if I’m honest the Fursty Ferret (officially the UK’s worst beer name) is well kept but dull.

But the pub just exuded warmth, bouncing along like the late ’80s soundtrack favoured by all (Tanita Tikaram, The Stranglers, The Jesus & Mary Chain).

Maximum one at a time in the Gents, bolt the door behind you” it said.

I did, but they’re strong round here and the door never stood a chance as I was joined at the colourful urinals by an unapologetic local.

Have you seen the shrimp ?

Well there’s no need to be rude.

It cleans the fish tank”

Oh.

I couldn’t see it (top) but usual prize if you can.

16 thoughts on “SHRIMP SPOTTING IN A GILLINGHAM GENTS

    1. I thought I recognised the name, but there was/is a Phoenix in the Guide when I eventually got there, relating to the football club’s remarkable recovery from 1-3 down against Wincanton in the Vase.

      I wondered if it might have appeared under Wyke as well, there’s at least one more of those.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I only know one song by The Stranglers, and something tells me that Stranglers fans would unanimously agree it’s entirely the wrong one: “All Roads Lead to Rome.” I reckon this was their attempt to adjust to the then-new synth pop sound? A pretty good tune though, I say.

    I agree with you, Fursty Ferret is a decisively awful name for a beer! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well I’m quite sure that if Ms Travers hadn’t passed away eleven years ago there would have been a Mary on all the Beer and pubs Forum’s Proper Days Out.

        Like

  2. “What click bait today.”

    I’ll say! That title alone could have me behaving most indecorously… until I realised it’s only one person in the gents at one time; thus, no one can ‘shrimp spot’ as it were.

    “a few miles from Hovisland”

    Is that where they make that great bread? 😉

    “Kent’s Gillingham is pronounced Gillingham while Dorset’s Gillingham is pronounced Gillingham.”

    You’re going to have to tell us which syllable to stress.

    “(there’s no logic to that but it’s true).”

    Even in a big city?

    “a devastatingly attractive stranger caught in profile in the mirror.”

    Wait; who was taking the photo?

    “With all the instructions I actually forgot to pay him the £1.80.”

    Duncan’s been rubbing off on you? 😉

    ““Have you seen the shrimp ?” Well there’s no need to be rude.”

    See! It’s not just me!

    “I couldn’t see it (top) but usual prize if you can.”

    He’s the one at the bottom right that’s gone all purple because he can’t breathe. 🙂

    Cheers

    Like

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