OLDHAM AND THE SHEWEE

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No, it’s not a 1980s BBC drama starring Patricia Hodge set in a Lancashire mill town.

It’s the answer to today’s crisis.

How will we go for a wee when (if) the pubs re-open ?

MUDGE
CAMRA Discourse

As always, Stafford Paul is on the money.

Sit-down toilets are a health hazard; it’s urinals or nothing from now on.

Fortunately for women, a technological solution is at hand.

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The Shewee.  Made in China

Mrs RM wishes you to know she’s practicing with her Shewee after drinking two pints of Moonshine Stout in 30 minutes, and is on board with this democratisation of the boozer.  You’d expect nothing less from her.

In January 1996, I subjected Mrs RM to 90 minutes of Oldham v Crystal Palace in sub-zero temperatures, my only visit to the League’s coldest away game. Not good for the bladder.  We did get to sit next to Frankie “6 goal” Bunn though, so lose some, win some.

In 1966, football fans in Oldham were moaning about the toilets (“even after being told this is being looked into“).

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MOAN MOAN MOAN

The Oldham programme. a personal favourite, come in the ever popular 310mm x 250mm size, made for folding and spilling Bovril over, and packed with, er, words.

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Ever positive Latics

It even has a letters page, probably with a request from a Mr P. Mudge to reinstate the autovac in the Social Club.

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So much to read compared to the programme 50 years later

Modern programmes don’t have enough pictures of actual goals; this shot is a classic.

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“Rocket”

“Millionaire” Ken Bates was in charge, but despite scoring 45 goals at home by 12 November* Oldham would ultimately finish in their customary 10th in Division 3.

Just the one advert for beer, and some pubs the Tand will know even if I don’t.

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What is that phone number ?

I’d love to bring you some blog highlights from recent trips to Oldham itself, but it’s a decade since the last GBG newbie, and you’ll have to wait till I can get to the new micro.

Closest I’ve been is the Lancashire Fold in Middleton, which is a good place to get to know the locals.

Middleton
Boundary Park just off Motorway junction on right
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Typical Oldhamscene

A wake was about to start. You can tell a good pub from its ability to handle wakes or wedding or Wombles Fanclub conventions without closing the whole pub down.

The old boys were seated round the outside walls, groups of ladies were enjoying cheap lunches, and the banter was as good as the soundtrack (Beatles “Something”).

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The qualities of gammon (not THAT gammon) and the virtues of Tenerife over Blackpool.

If the mill workers who’d gone to Fylde for Wakes Week had heard these fellas extolling the virtues of Spain they’d turn in their graves.

lees
Lancashire Fold

To be honest, I always liked the Toby at the Travelodge we stayed in Chadderton, just over t’ road from Boundary Park. It smelt of cabbage (or was it broccoli?) but had real life.

Sadly, the Toby had just called time when I visited last, denying me the chance to sample their Proper Beer Range.

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Great beer range

Luckily, the Sunrise were still pleased to see me at 23:01, and that’s not the only reason I recommend their crispy beef and Singapore rice on any Oldham holiday.

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* 9 against FC Thun, to be fair

 

12 thoughts on “OLDHAM AND THE SHEWEE

  1. What a coincidence -whilst on our regular perambulation this morning ,Mr S & I were discussing the Shewee -well I was talking about it -he was just grunting -he was appalled at the concept I think ! I am getting better at being out & about without the need to find “facilities ” but then there is no drink involved

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I was going to post on a completely different matter – namely, why is Oldham so cold? Answer, because it is built on a hill, but the toilet controversy intrigued me.

        First, Stafford Paul is right, as sit-down toilets can create an aerosol effect, when flushed – good for spreading bugs. Second, one of my colleagues has mentioned that his wife takes a Shewee along when they go to festivals and, to beat the queues, uses the gents urinals.

        Not sure about that one, but imagine you’re standing there, minding your own business, whilst draining off all that excess fluid, when in walks a member of the opposite sex and lets fly from her plastic spout. It’s the same with some of the female toilet attendants they have in Germany, who think it’s OK to mop the floor around your feet, whilst you’re standing there taking a pee.

        Enough said, on the matter, I think!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Someone will have to have this discussion ! I’ve been to a few music venues where both genders mix so you get females trudging past the urinals on the way to the cubicles and I didn’t like it AT ALL. Pre-Covid, I’d have said the future was gender neutral cubicles. Now, who knows.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. T’other Paul,
        “some of the female toilet attendants they have in Germany, who think it’s OK to mop the floor around your feet, whilst you’re standing there taking a pee” – but surely German women don’t mop the floor around your feet while you’re sat on an unhygienic toilet seat.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Stafford Paul – fortunately not!

    It’s not so much the dirty seats that are a problem, it’s the aerosol effect from when the contents of the toilet are flushed away. Potentially the aerosols generated could contain Coronavirus, so I suppose it depends on the time interval between one person vacating the toilet and the next user.

    Obviously more a problem for the ladies, but flushing every time one has a pee, is a well-known waste of water. Hence the proposals for female urinals, combined with suitable adaptor to ensure stuff ends up where it’s supposed to. (Not to put too fine a point on it!)

    How on earth did we get onto such a subject?

    Like

    1. T’other Paul,
      Yes, “flushing every time one has a pee is a well-known waste of water” and I can remember Ken Livingston saying that many years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I was at that Torquay match, the Latics (there is only one Latics!) had a reasonable team at that time but never quite realised their potential. Still a Latics fan though I now live in the Stockport area and my daughters and grandsons are City fans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “only one Latics”. Yes, I expect that’s what Ken Bates said when he left for Wigan 😉

      Certainly some good crowds to watch those goals back then.

      As a City fan, I’m delighted you’ve brought your family up properly 👍

      Best wishes

      Like

  4. Can’t believe most of those comments relate to toilet practices and not the innovative Boundary Bulletin. Been there a few times, the worst watching Reading get hammered on a snowy Friday night (same night as Zeebrugge Ferry disaster) on the uncovered away end. There is the Coal and Cob micro there now so must be a chance of a new entry.

    Liked by 1 person

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