Tonight I’ll be working on my Stocktake for December (Spoiler: lots of pubs) and the Annual Retired Martin Awards for 2019. If you can guess my PubMan of the year you win two pints of ESB.
In the meantime, what does 2020 promise for the pubber. Inspired by Pub Curmudeon’s review of the decade, I put my thinking cap on (it’s a bobble hat).
The good news first. 1 January 2020 brings a new batch of Spoons vouchers into play. The bad news is that Spoons will probably be the only pubs open in January where you can get a drink.
Once in, expect ever weirder jam jars
Dogs in the way of the bar
Less info on pumpclips, more on electronic beerboards
The cob v roll v bap debate will rumble on
Ill-fitting T-shirts worn by your favourite bloggers
No-one will understand how lacings work
Vinegar bottles will feature in 5% of my photos
Loo wall graffiti will get even classier
And Simon will fall over after six pints.
But the big shock will come in May when Sir Humphrey Smith bans pints in all his pubs, with all beer served in tekus. Old Mudgie will rage against it in June.
retiredmartin 
Aren’t all t-shirts ill-fitting?
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Yes, that’s why you’ll never see me in one !
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Probably the same Pubman as last year, he’s streets ahead. (usually).
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Tekus??? Proper Pewter Tankards surely?
Lots of dogs seen in bars recently.
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What’s wrong with just taking GBGs and highlighter pens into pubs?
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What would really do me in is Humphrey banning reading the paper 📰
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Quite right, no literacy for the plebs who are allowed into his establishments. In future the managers will be instructed to read out the daily news in Latin, once censored by Humphrey himself.
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There’s not even a Humphrey version of Wetherspoon News. You would have to read the runes by working out which pubs had been airbrushed out, Stalinist-style, from one issue to the next.
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Has to be BRAPA after the Newark incident. What else can show such a commitment to the trade? LAF runner up for going where no pubman has gone before…
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Plenty go where LAF goes, no-one else writes about it 👍
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Oh, you’re wrong on Pubman of the Year.
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Now I’m curious!
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If you give me the award I’ll give you one of the pints of ESB.
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In the Bird in Hand today at five-past-opening and five pints by 4pm was a good start to the new year but I know that that sort of commitment isn’t sustainable and I sadly won’t be supporting Proper Pubs so well during the rest of 2020.
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