A SURMOUNTABLE HITCH IN MICRO PRESTWICH

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I spent literally minutes trying to find a Fall track for this post, but sadly M.E. Smith’s “Middle aged Middleton micropub man” remains unreleased.

On the tram back from Bury to Victoria I planned an afternoon in West Manchester,

Bury1

and admired the lack of GBG pubs on the route.

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The Whitefield one is a Holt. Go there now.

Ah, the Crooked Man.

Wait, the Crooked Man ? What’s that then ? Surely it’s the Church ?

I fumbled with opening up my GBG spreasdsheet, failed, and jumped up as the announcer boomed “Next stop Prestweeeeetch“, alarming the two French tourists who were clearly lost.

Oooh, a map. Don’t see many of those anymore.

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Mark E Smith mural unmarked

By now the spreadsheet had loaded and the Crooked Man was clearly absent. So a new tick I’d missed, and a chance to explore tourist Prestwich, starting with the futuristic loos.

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Classy

WhatPub suggested 3pm opening, but we all know that WhatPub hours for micros are starting bids. There were folk insside at 2.34pm, drinking sour DIPAs from tea cups.

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Folk inside sadly not an indicator of being open

“Sorry we’re not open till 3” said the nice lady.

“I’m sure I’ll find something to do for half an hour“. She looked at me sceptically.

What an odd town.

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Art

A row of trad Holt pubs with trad names,

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M.E. Smith drank here. Possibly.
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“Liberal”

a Craft Union with a unique name,

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At least it’s not Naturist

and a shiny new cocktail lounge thing in the glossy square metre of town.

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In GBG23

That modernity contrasts sharply with the shopping centre.

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Easily confused with the Arndale
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Job for you, Matt

But what’s this in the Longfield ?

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Shiny

Nothing on handpump, so I had the Cloudwater Pale as I’m Old Skool.

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Two CAMRAs from the 28% faction came in, asked for tasters (spit !) and interrogated the barman about what was cask while I enjoyed my superb keg, all the better for being purchased by contactless.

That occupied me till 3.01 when I returned to the Crooked Man.

Not YOU again” said the nice lady.

Quirk art, deep sofas, obscure blues, children welcome, a decent stout from Deeply Vale (NBSS 3).

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Head on the beer
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Classy

All I’ll say is. Don’t eat black pudding, drink keg and then run for the tram, kids.

You never saw Mark E Smith run, did you ?

15 thoughts on “A SURMOUNTABLE HITCH IN MICRO PRESTWICH

  1. To be fair, given his profligacy in writing, Mark E. Smith probably took minutes between songs.

    That pub was originally the Railway & Naturist, indicating that events in Newark were not a unique occurence.

    Are the Vocation and Thornbridge beers not on handpump there, with the pumpclips stuck on the wall above them just to confuse the unwary?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I always thought that GLP stood for Greatest Living Poet, but it seems that I was wrong.

    Unless there’s a masterpiece called “No Win No Fee”, that is.

    Like

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